As a child, my father was concerned that I would become an adult who would be apathic. He was fond of scanning my face because I was almost always moody.
The older I grew, I accepted that I indeed had a mood issue. It was hard to remain happy or joyful for a long period of time.
In a conversation with my mother she encouraged me to pay more attention to my triggers and how my mood fluctuated.
That was the beginning of my journey to choosing internationality with my moods.
We make choices everyday and one of them will be how we respond to the difficulties we face in life.
the discomforts
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
to find the little joys in your life
I have encountered different people and observed their attitude to life. I came to the conclusion that joy is a choice.
For example, I met someone who worked menial jobs but always smiled and remained lighthearted, adding to my daily happiness.I can remember her voice greeting me joyfully everyday “My friend”
I also believe deeply that Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and what this means for me is that the Holy Spirit strengthens our joy and gives us the right perspective in every situation.
Sometime in 2021, I created a podcast and shared a little bit more on this.
Click on image to be redirected to listen
LET ME HELP
you practice it better
You can do this by replicating what I have been practicing
Derive joy from nature: this is one of my favourite thing to do. I intentionally take pictures of nature whenever I step out of the house.
Today’s joy
Listening to music: I always play songs that uplift my spirit. I try pick songs that uplift my spirit or help me get through difficult moments and moods. I will always recommend good music.
I make myself hearty: I recently got a comment from someone who had been observing me during a tense period.
“Your ability to remain cheerful regardless of the stress you were put under was remarkable. You see, in other to go through life well and manage positions, you need to have good control your emotions”.
I felt good hearing this but deep within, I knew the long road it took to get there. I used my housejob to practice and I am good I was able to replicate it in another situation (I may repeat this scenario in another post).
Laughter × ♾️ :I find something to make me laugh even if painful tears follow after. Laughter relieves stress. No extra comment.
Family and loved ones: If you got them, great. They will boost your immune system (I can lecture you on this but I’ll spare you the details). A warm hug from a loved one can go a long way, and if that is not your thing then their company will do.
Gratitude: There is something to be grateful for. Find that reason and find some more. This has been a great therapy tip for the last 3 years of my life. It has improved my outlook on life and I believe it will for you.
I have been sharing my daily gratitudes here, you may add yours as well.
Click on image to be redirected
SO WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?
Especially as I have shared with you?
The truth is that we may not be able to prevent every uncomfortable situations that happens but we can face life with hope.
Christmas is a reminder that we have hope and through the birth of Jesus, we can experience true joy.
Therefore, whether you are busy in this season or you are taking it slow…
Find joy in simple things, this one of the ways to get through difficulties ❣️#loveandlight
It is a period of many experiences and this year’s blogmas series is different and I am hopeful I will make it to the end.
How have you been in this season?
Making preparations to travel, be with family or staying alone.
Whatever, your plans are I pray they are going well.
With that being said, let’s ride in..
SAFETY ZONE
Is an area of safety.
Safety is a feeling of protection. It is the space away from danger.
A safe zone is a space away from danger.
VULNERABILITY
We express vulnerability in a place we feel safe.
We express vulnerability with the people we feel safe with.
Vulnerability is letting our guard down and opening up.
Vulnerability enable relationships grow.
When we are vulnerable, we express parts of ourselves that we kept in. We give others access to ourselves in a deeper way.
Vulnerability builds relationship on a platform of openness and honesty.
Where there is no safety, vulnerability cannot be well expressed.
ACCESSIBILITY
Vulnerability gives access
That is why when it is compromised, it can cause more havoc.
Whom we give access to, matters.
You cannot give access to everyone
I have had few experiences where my trial at being vulnerable became the reason I became more guarded but I am learning giving access to people is something I should not run away from.
I cannot run all my life
Psalm 27:1-10 The Lord is my light and my salvation—Whom shall I fear?The Lord is the refuge and fortress of my life—Whom shall I dread?2 When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh,My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.3 Though an army encamp against me,My heart will not fear;Though war arise against me,Even in this I am confident.4 One thing I have asked of the Lord, and that I will seek:That I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life,To gaze upon the beauty [the delightful loveliness and majestic grandeur] of the LordAnd to meditate in His temple.5 For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter;In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;He will lift me up on a rock.6 And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,In His tent I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy;I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;Be gracious and compassionate to me and answer me.8 When You said, “Seek My face [in prayer, require My presence as your greatest need],” my heart said to You,“Your face, O Lord, I will seek [on the authority of Your word].”9 Do not hide Your face from me,Do not turn Your servant away in anger;You have been my help;Do not abandon me nor [a]leave me,O God of my salvation!10 Although my father and my mother have abandoned me,Yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child].(AMP)
I have had to learn to be vulnerable with God and it is one of my favourite things to do.
I enjoy pouring my heart to God
I love to tell God details about my thoughts, and feelings.
I love to know that God is listening.
He listens
It is from some of these conversations that QUIET MEMOIRS:4 was birthed.
It has taken a lot to start but finally it is happening.
Let us ride in…….
LOYALTY
Exodus 2:16-22 (AMP)
Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters; and they came and drew water [from the well where Moses was resting] and filled the troughs to water their father’s flock. Then shepherds came and drove them away, but Moses stood up and helped them and watered their flock. When they came to [g]Reuel (Jethro) their father, he said, “How is it that you have come back so soon today?” They said, “An Egyptian saved us from the shepherds. He even drew water [from the well] for us and watered the flock.” Then he said to his daughters, “Where is he? Why have you left the man behind? Invite him to have something to eat.” Moses was willing to remain with the man, and he gave Moses his daughter Zipporah [to be his wife]. She gave birth to a son, and he named him Gershom (stranger); for he said, “I have been a stranger in a foreign land.”
Zipporah was the daughter of Ruel the priest of Midian. Her name has several meanings:
Doves have a symbol of peace, serenity and loyalty attached to them.
They have a lifespan of greater than 20 years and are known to remain committed.
Using a dove as a metaphor will rarely sugggest a negative statement.
“….and the Holy Spirit descended upon Him as a dove…”
The Holy Spirit is often symbolical replaced by a dove.
THE SHEPHERDESS
Shepherds are loyal to their flock. They guard them with their lives.
King David understood this well as he was a shepherd himself.
“…the LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want…”
Zipporah was a loyal woman, first to her father and siblings.
As shepherd in a desert area and with male competitors who also came to water their camels, the challenge to water their animals was always there.
Despite this opposition, Zipporah and her sisters still went to get their animals watered.
Zipporah was willing to do what she was supposed to do (feed the animlas) and did not allow the persistent challenge deter her.
STICKING CLOSER
Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.(KJV)
Do you stick close?
Loyalty is an expression of commitment.
Commitment is a choice.
This choice is not deterred by challenges because challenges are part of the package. We commit after taking into consideration the challenges ahead.
Possible challenges as well
It is not enough to say we are committed, do our actions agree with us?
REFLECTIONS
Relationships are sustained on mutual commitment. Once it becomes one sided, the relationship starts to go a downhill.
This presents itself either in communication, activities and various forms of mutual sacrifice.
Money, time and self are demanded for in any commitment and one has to be certain they are willing to go the way before agreeing.
The absence of loyalty is unfaithfulness and the malicious withdrawal of loyalty is betrayal.
Unfaithfulness and betrayal are hurtful and none is a pleasant thing to experience.
However, they are bound to happen in the course of our various relationship and we have the choice to be the one who does not become unfaithful or betrayal another.
Always remember the choice part
Moses had just been betrayed by the people he had tried to save and at this point in his life, he needed someone who would not repeat that cycle.
Zipporah fit in at the right time
QUESTIONS
Have you been betrayed before?
Have you betrayed someone before?
How loyal are you?
Are you willing to go an extra mile or you are tired of doing such?
Have you been faithful in your relationship with God?
SUMMARY
CONCLUSION
It took me a while to finally write this.
Loyalty remains a top character trait I cherish.
I have had a fair experience of both sides of this topic. However I will not say I have been badly betrayed (and hopefully will not experience such trauma).
I on the other hand tend to be committed when I choose to and it can be difficult not receiving the same amount of loyalty that is put in.
Still would prefer being the faithful one
Grateful to God for the opportunity to share this part.
I hope to have you in the next part.
Do not hesitate to share your comments, like and share to others.
Today is the 16th day with 9 days left until 25th.
Today was interesting.
SURPRISE!
So today started a bit uneventful. I dragged my feet and tried to be useful.
I published a podcast, tried to do very minimal edits then created an email campaign for my email subscribers.
It was close to the time for the radio show I have been part of the last two months.
I prepped myself and left.
The transport vehicle driver was chill and we talked about the cost of his vehicle and the rise inflation.
After a light conversation, I highlighted and went into the station.
I greeted the host and the cohost and we sat down to start the show.
Midday the show, we were asked to define a woman of influence and I tried to answer.
“I have been talking about influence for a year now” I said before giving my reply.
The host then informed us she had a suprise for certain women.
I was eager to hear who the women were and the surprise package attached when the host informed us that she was referring to the other host and I.
Like seriously shocked
I was taken by a huge surprise and she went ahead to share recordings from close family and friends.
I did not see them coming
They sent in kind, honest and beautiful words and it was at some point overwhelming.
Like I felt very shy
I do not hate surprises and I appreciate the efforts they all made to make it memorable.
UNEXPECTED GOOD THINGS
The surprise I received was filled with god things and I did not expect it.
I did not even imagine myself or someone close to be me as the persons that were to receive a surprise.
When good things happen after you expect them for another person, it could be quite emotional.
Desire good things for other people
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. (KJV)
It is easy to want good things for only ourselves but it is very possible to hope good things for others including the things we also want.
Whatever good thing is good for you is good for another
LET ME HUG YOU
Hugs are therapeutic.
I used to claim that I did not fancy them but over the years after getting more accustomed to affectionate hugs, I have made the observation that hugging someone you love and someone that loves and cares for you is another form of therapy.
The warm affectionate hug relieves some tension and forms a space for sharing emotions even if words are not shared.
She came up to me. One of my favourite children and hugged me.
In the past, I initiated the hugs as a warm approach and in the process we got to talk. This time around, she initiated it and in her simple childlike manner without saying the reason for the hug made sure she hugged me well.
It was so beautiful to have that sincere expression
I have also realised that when I share a hug with someone they tend to be more comfortable with me and would be open about a concern they have.
If I do not share a hug then words would do the job.
A simple “How are you”. “Your eyes look dim”. “You look tired. Are you well?” goes a long way to caring for someone with virtual word hug.
So sometimes we can first hug people with kind words and by showing concern for them before we can progress with a physical one.
SOW IT WELL
Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.(KJV)
Just do it well.
Do it with the right perspective.
Motives matter and I have been intentional for so long my life to maintain a right perspective to doing anything.
Sow kindness. Sow health. Sow purpose. Sow life.
There are more things to sow
NOW TO YOU
Do you like surprises?
Do you find it difficult being happy for others even for things you genuinely want?
Do you find it easy to be happy for others even for things you genuinely want?
Do you appreciate hugs?
What good thing has someone sown into your life?
What good thing have you sown into other people’s lives?
CONCLUSION
Once again, I published today’s post before completing it because I wanted to beat the time.
Grateful for the opportunity to share with you.
Before this post is concluded, I have two things to share with you.
We were supposed to bring something for anyone but do it anonymously without indicating a person 9f interest as well.
My week was busy and I had not come up with anything creative to give until the last minute after an advice from a loved one.
I used the advice and was able to get a gift which I offered.
When it comes to the act of giving, it is a dynamic topic.
Some people give gifts easily because it is their live language and because they are a consciousness of gifts.
They know the things to buy or they have a simple understanding of gifts
Some struggle with giving because either they are selfish, do not know how to buy gifts or have a complicated understanding of gifts.
N.B The context used in this post is only positive and within healthy relationships.
SIMPLE PERSPECTIVE ON GIFTS
From my observation, people who easily get gifts for others based on their simple understanding, have come to realize that giving is not always based on what the gift is about but on their intention for giving.
They understand that it is who gives the gift, why the gift is given that matters. Therefore this helps them to easily get things to give.
I saw a hair pin and bought it for you
However, giving gifts with this mindset will also depend on who receives the gifts.
COMPLICATED PERSPECTIVE ON GIFTS
This perspective seeks to make a deal out of giving.
It focuses on the gift and the contents and presentation.
The contents have to be quite relevant and useful before giving out.
This means that more work will be put into getting the gift which may involve more details of what the gift would be about.
I made sure I searched for the rarest hair pin that you can keep for a long time
It can become overwhelming because the thoughts of making the gifts as relevant as possible is not always feasible.
I understand because this perspective has been one I have followed for such a long Time
The intricacy of the process can make the individual to give up on giving.
WHEN WE LOVE
When we love, we give
Something
When we value someone, we give
Something
God loved us and gave us.
God still gives us
When we love God, we give.
When we love
We give
LOVE IS NOT SELFISH (1 Corinthians 13)
A LOVE GIFT
When a lover gifts, it is deeper than any other gift because the gift is understood to come from a deep place of the relationship.
A love gift is valued and if possible kept for as long as possible.
God’s love gift to us came in the person of JESUS who brought salvation to the world.
Joy to the world
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (KJV)
Do you value salvation?
Salvation is a free but precious gift and it can be assessed by believing.
Do you find it easy to give gifts? (Did you resonate with any of the perspective?)
How much do gifts mean to you?
Have you recieved God’s love gift?
CONCLUSION
I recieved a gift today.
I appreciate it
I am grateful for today and the opportunity to participate in the joy today brought. I initially started the day feeling very stressed and ended it blessed.
To end today’s post, I will share the podcast that was created on the 10th day.
It is interesting how doing a daily series keeps me on check even when I do not want to write anything.
Today is the third day, welcome.
LONGINGS
I long to eat a bowl of tasty spicy roasted meat
I long to eat a bowl of very creamy icecream
I long to paint many artworks
I long to…..
Okay, longings are natural. They are a response to a need.
Longings are natural, they are a response to a need.
Forgive me for repeating them.
Today, I longed for certain people.
I remember my one time Somalian roomate who I shared a brief month together with. The time we spent was interesting and she shared alot about her family and country. We took a picture together, of which I was unable to retrieve a copy before we parted ways..
Today, I longed for people I miss and may never see again.
What are you longing for?
Who are you longing for?
LOG OFF
Tenderness is a virtue.
The ability to be empathic is a virtue.
For a long while in my life I have felt tempted to get hardened and conform to a standard that has often been suggested of me. However, I am intentionally refusing to allow that happen.
I understand the importance of tenderness and I am not willing to give that part of me away.
Apathy is the opposite of empathy.
Logging off our emotions towards anyone dries out the warmness we may have for them.
Apathy robs us of the opportunity to be part of other people’s life in a kind.
Sometimes I struggle to log off but when I care, apathy is not an option and even I think I do not care as I am supposed to, empathy often wins
IT IS OKAY TO BE VULNERABLE
With those who are willing to see your vulnerable side.
Yes, it is scary and finding the right people may be hard but vulnerability brings relief.
To be the person other people can be vulnerable to is also a beautiful thing to be part of. Listening and sharing words of hope and comfort is fulfilling.
Who can share their burdens to you?
SLIPPERY
Today, I had the type 2 and 3 energy frequency.
Read Day 2 to understand
I thought I would manage to move from type 2 to 1, instead I moved from type 2 to 3.
I designed fliers for someone close to me, had serious conversations with a friend, light conversations with other friends, and a heavy and strenous conversation with someone closer to me.
It is easy to slip
“God, I am not mature. I am straightforward. Help me. I am tired”
I love the part of my relationship with God where I can be very honest and this is what I seek for in human relationships which is often very difficult to experience.
Psalms 62:8 Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.(KJV)
I did not spend most of my time on very tangible activities but I had many thoughts which I had planned to pen down for today’s post.
I was able to reorganize my digital art space and decided to put on hold some of the intentions I had for it and updated the terms and conditions as well.
In all, there are still reasons to be grateful and I’ll keep that in check.
NOW TO YOU
What significant event happened to you today?
Are you preparing for anything significant?
Who are you missing?
Do you feel apathic towards anyone?
CONCLUSION
I had many thoughts and ended up sharing these instead.
I started this post earlier and finished it almost at the end of the day.
Good for me, I am beating the time before the day ends.
In today’s post we will see the outcome of Boaz’s decisions and what it meant for Ruth and Naomi.
We will also see what makes a family a family and how the trio found family in each other.
If you are new, I will encourage that you check older chapters to get the flow.
Lets ride in.
CHAPTER 4
After Ruth left, Boaz tidied himself up and went to the gate of the city. Doing that signified that a meeting was to be held as Boaz was an elder.
As he sat down, he observed the people passing by and that was when he saw the nearer kinsman he had told Ruth about pass by.
“Ho! Turn aside and sit down here” Boaz said motioning to a seat beside him.
The man replied the greeting and sat beside him.
Gradually, Boaz sighted 10 elders and asked them to sit down as he had done earlier.
Turning to the first man he had called, Boaz said “Naomi that returned from Moab is selling a parcel of land which belonged to Elimelech our brother. I thought to tell you before everyone here to redeem it. If you will redeem it, then do. If you will not, tell me so I may know because there is none except both of us but you come first”
“I will redeem it” the man replied.
Something in Boaz’s heart sank. He could hear Naomi’s voice through Ruth. He knew that Naomi wanted him to take care of Ruth.
He too wanted to take care of Ruth…..
“If you are going to take the land also know you are taking Ruth the widow as well in order to maintain the legacy of our brother”
“If that is the case, I am no longer interested. I don’t want to stain my inheritance. If you are interested in taking the land and the woman, go ahead” the kinsman replied as he pulled off his sandal and gave it to Boaz.
“You are all witnesses today that along with the land, I have taken Ruth to be my wife. This includes every inheritance that was left behind by Elimelech, Chilion, and Mahlon. By marrying Ruth, I will maintain the legacy of Elimelech and his sons. You all witnessed it today”
By now, a crowd had gathered. It was not only the elders who had sat down.
Boaz’s heart was beating fast. He was anxious yet filled with joy. He had gotten Ruth. He could take care of her as his own. He could give her a home.
“We have heard you. We have witnessed it today. May THE LORD make your house like Rachel and Leah who both built the house of Israel and may you remain renowned in Bethlehem. Let your home be like Perez whom Tamar bore for Judah, so shall your wife give to you”
There was cheering as Boaz arose from the meeting and went home. What he had done was going to shake the town big. Those who had witnessed his public claim for Ruth hurried to their homes to share it with those who were not present.
Ruth had slept well and woke up to find Naomi preparing food.
“Mother, you did not wake me up”
“You needed rest my daughter. You have done well” Naomi said with smiles pasted on her face.
“This that you smile this greatly. What has happened? Do not suffer me and let me know”
“Have you forgotten what happened this morning?”
“Boaz?”
Naomi drew her into an embrace and kissed her cheeks multiple times.
“Mother”
“My daughter, I told you he would not rest until he resolves this matter. News got to me that he has settled it”
Ruth blushed then covered her face. She was in shock. She stooped to the floor, her arms folded on her chest.
“My daughter you now have a home. Boaz has agreed to marry you in the presence of the whole town. He went quickly and declared his desire to make you his wife”
“Mother”
“Now get up my child. You have to prepare to go to your husband’s home”
As they were still speaking, Ruth’s friend who had carried her away for the party rushed into their house
“Ruth what do I hearr? My father said you are going to be Boaz’s wife. What are you still doing here?” She asked excitedly.
Naomi smiled “She is still still in shock”
“Get-up!” she said as she pulled Ruth up and hugged her before covering her face with kisses. “You deserve a good man. You deserve a home. God bless your heart” She covered her words with kisses again.
Slowly, reality dawned on Ruth and she was filled with joy that she cried. She could not believe that Boaz would move that fast and in front of the whole town as well.
Wedding preparation went into full gear and Boaz married Ruth and she became his wife.
He took her into his home with the same tenderness he had showed her the first day they met.
Ruth had found a home in a person and in a place.
Months after, Ruth was heavy with child and gave birth to a son.
Naomi beaming with smiles held the boy in her arms as the women of the chanted “Blessed be THE LORD which did not leave you with a kinsman that his name be famous the land. He will be unto you a restorer of life, a nourisher of your old age. Your daughter Ruth that loved you who is better than seven sons gave birth to him”
Naomi overwhelmed with love took care of the child as her own.
The way Naomi took care of the child caused her neighbours to call him Obed for he was as a son born for her.
This same Obed was the father of Jesse who was the father of David.
According to their generation, Perez gave birth to Hezron.
Hezron gave birth to Ram.
Ram gave birth to Amminadab.
Amminadab gave birth to Nahshon.
Nahshon gave birth to Salmon.
Salmon gave birth to Boaz.
Boaz gave birth to Obed.
Obed gave birth to Jesse.
Jesse gave birth to David.
N.B This chapter was fictionalised for the purpose of this post. Kindly read Chapter 4 of Ruth in the bible for original context.
A FAMILY MADE OUT OF LOVE
In chapter 3, Ruth is advantaged because of Naomi. Naomi lets her into a culture that would allow her have a home and thus experience rest. Naomi in her bid to repay Ruth’s kindness does not withhold her words of wisdom and guides Ruth delicately.
Ruth a wise woman does not only obey Naomi but applies her advice with wisdom and discretion.
The last chapter talked about having advantage, applying wisdom, obedience and meeting your type.
Boaz, the main man in the picture completes the task he promised Ruth in today’s post and through his act we can see the peak of his love and dedication to Ruth.
If you are new to this series, it would beautiful to check the older ones first before reading this post as it would add meaning to the context of this post.
THE FAITHFUL MAN
Boaz did what he said he would do.
He was a man of his word
Without wasting time, he went as soon as possible to settle the matter.
He could see that Ruth needed what he could provide and in her he could see what she could provide.
Faithfulness is a virtue
The ability to stay true to words is a strong virtue a man who will lead well displays.
To be a leader means building and maintaining trust by backing up promises made.
Boaz was that kind of man
THE RESPECTED MAN
Boaz was not only faithful, he was respected.
His presence at the gate and call for meeting was heeded to without delay. His lifestyle and position commanded respect for him from his peers and people of the city.
Boaz did not need to testify for himself, he had many people who could testify of his nature and worth.
THE MAN THAT KNEW WHEN TO STEP IN
Boaz knew that the other kinsman would not take Ruth but because he was a man of principles, he knew that he needed to still follow the appropriate rules.
Even though he knew that Ruth would not be acceptable to the other kinsman, he wanted to do it right
With this understanding, he did not approach him directly but made sure to clear every grey area which included properties.
He was not one to cover up and be suspicious
After getting an appropriate and clear answer from the man, he made his intention known before everyone.
He did not play hide and seek with Ruth
Boaz love for Ruth was expressed in the right way, in the right environment.
A KIND OF LOVE
The other kinsman wanted the properties but was not interested in Ruth or Naomi. This was probably the reason Boaz approached his proposal with the properties first.
However in defence of the man, he was sincere to reject Ruth and not accept her only to treat her poorly later on. He was open about his disinterest in Ruth.
Whereas, Boaz was willing to take up the proposal regardless of the clauses it came with. He was ready to put his life on the line for Ruth.
His love for Ruth was sacrificial
He was willing to sacrifice for Ruth.
Boaz felt privileged to marry Ruth. He saw in her who she was and not what she had gone through.
Ruth on the other hand had displayed a similar type of love for Naomi. She had shown sacrificial love to Naomi even though they were from different backgrounds.
Ruth’s sacrificial love had drawn Boaz and in return he did the same for her.
Boaz and Ruth were similar and their similarities were their healthy character strengths. Boaz sacrificing for Ruth was not easy just as Ruth sacrificing for Naomi was not. However, both of them understood the concept of family.
They both understood that to call a person family meant learning to sacrifice for them and it was not a one person affair.
They both understood that beyond sharing the same heritage, sharing the same values mattered.
Most people hardly recognise people who have sacrificed for them mainly because they share different heritage or are not related by blood. Therefore, regardless of how a person shows them love, they would never regard that person as family.
Does this mean that anyone who sacrifices has good intentions?
No
But it is rare for a person to sacrifice deeply for you and not do it because they consider you as family.
Sacrifices in this post refers to a person enduring discomfort willingly just to ease your discomforts.
A person who goes out of their way to make you at ease without doing it for a payback is someone who values and loves you.
It is quality that makes the difference
Boaz and Ruth understood this thus making them fit for each because in each other they could find a home to rest and be loved.
There is a difference between love and like as a Christian.
Love is a command as mentioned in the Bible.
John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. (KJV)
While Like is according to preference.
Therefore you are to love even those you find it hard to like.
There are different definitions of love but the one specified in this context is the love of God (Agape) we show to others. It can mean:
Making sure you bring no harm
Caring for the person’s welfare
Loving the person the way God desires
Praying for the person and being of help when needed
The love God commands us to show others is tough. It goes beyond our personal likes and dislikes to seeing the person the way God wants us to. Therefore even if we would prefer to keep distance, when we are to help we will not refuse to help. When we are to pray, we only pray healthy prayers.
Ill-prayers are not allowed
In regards to family, sometimes we may not like the people that make up our family but we are to love them.
A GOOD MARRIAGE IS GOD’S FAVOUR
I will use this post to declare:
It is not easy, if not everyone will have it because not everyone who desires to be married that have gotten married and not everyone who have gotten married have a good ride or a good end.
N.B I am not married yet and thus will not give you the elements of a good marriage(as a list) but this series has already said a lot about them.
Ruth getting married to Boaz was because of God’s favour. Boaz getting married to Ruth was because of God’s favour.
They found and loved each other because of God’s favour
They were guided rightly because of God’s favour
It takes God’s favour to enjoy marriage
N.B To add to what I have already said before, the right guidance comes in many ways and knowledge is needed as well. Refer to Ruth 1, 2 and 3.
The elders and people at the gate blessed Boaz and Ruth’s marriage because they understood that it was a blessing. They understood that the process worked out to Boaz’s favour because of God’s favour.
WHEN GOD REPLACES
Naomi had lost everyone she loved but gained Ruth who loved her deeply.
In Ruth, her purpose was ignited and she became thankful to God instead of bitter.
In Ruth, she gained her properties.
In Ruth, she gained a home.
In Ruth, she gained a son.
God repaced what Naomi lost because a woman had clung to her in love and by faith in God.
The same people who had whispered about Naomi and could not help her, now came around to rejoice with her.
Ruth’s sacrifice was more than seven sons who were not useful.
The children Naomi had lost were replaced with the joy of the child she held in her hands.
THE WOMAN WHO HAD FAITH
Ruth through faith became the great grandmother of King David.
Faith cannot be over mentioned because it is vital in our lives. As children of God we live day by day through faith in God’s word and promises.
Every new day comes with a challenge; minor or major, and in all of these we need faith to continue.
Our lives will not move in the same direction and frequency. Some of us may have it tougher than others. Some of us may experience more episodes of discouragement. Some of us may wait longer. Some of us may be disappointed many times.
However, it is through faith in who God is, that we can trust what God can do in our lives.
By faith Ruth joined the line of those who formed part of Jesus Christ’s earthly heritage (Mathew 1)
SUMMARY
CONCLUSION
Writing out this part of the series took a toll on me and in those moments I had to remind myself all the whys for this post to be completed.
I am careful not to share things I don’t practice or believe in wholeheartedly.
The themes shared in this part were tested in my life and I thank God for the lessons I am learning.
A proper concluding post on this series will be shared soon (by God’s grace) and probably extra announcements.
I need to meditate and brood on the announcements more.
Kindly share this to others. If you are yet to subscribe, you can do so by using your email or by using your WordPress account.
1 and 2 were beautiful and this part is even more beautiful.
If today is your first day on this series, kindly read the last two to enjoy today’s post more.
In today’s post we will see how Naomi thought best to repay Ruth for her kindness. We will also see more of Boaz’s character and what kind of man he was through and through.
Let’s ride in……
CHAPTER 3
Naomi was restless throughout the night. Ruth was on her mind. Boaz was on her mind. She could not help but picture them together. She felt sorry for Boaz, she could not believe that he remained unmarried until now.
How could he not find a woman suitable for him?
She rolled on the floor where they lay, Ruth’s hands were around her as if to protect her from harm and at the same time keeping her close as if to prevent her from leaving.
Naomi stared at Ruth, her deep snores revealed the depth of her tiredness.
“Mother sleep. Night is for sleep” Ruth grunted as she wrapped the elderly woman with her arms.
Without replying her, Naomi succumbed to her gentle embrace.
The next morning, Ruth was preparing meal for both of them while Naomi sat close by paying attention to the crackling firewood.
“Mother, you are in deep thoughts. Did you sleep well? You kept tossing at night”
“My daughter, shall I not seek help for you that it may be well with you? The man Boaz is one of our kinsmen. The one who allowed you to stay with his female servants. Today, he will winnow his barley at the threshing floor and it will happen at night. With that, I want you to wash up, put some of the nice oil on your skin and put your best dress and go to that place but do not allow him to see you until he has finished eating and drinking. After he must have lay down to sleep, make sure you take note of the place, go there, uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do”
Ruth did not know how to feel about what Naomi had said to her. Boaz? She respected him highly and had felt so safe around him since she met him. He was so kind and tender not just with her but with his servants. She admired him but she had not thought of any other thing. She had not even thought of the possibility of……
“Okay Mother. All that you said I will do”
Naomi nodded her head, her eyes still on the fire.
The day went quietly for both of them, however outside was rattling with excitement. Most of the people who worked for Boaz were making their way to his field.
When it was close to evening, Ruth began to prepare herself and Naomi paid extra attention by assisting her with her dressing.
One of the female workers who had gotten friendly with Ruth came and called her.
“Ruth let’s go. You don’t want to be late”
“She’s coming. Wait for her a little more” Naomi called from inside.
“Mother, I am okay. You are paying too much attention on me”
“Yes, I am. I need to. You look as radiant as ever. Enjoy yourself and don’t forget all I told you”
“I won’t mother. I will be back soon” Ruth said as they pecked each other.
“Ruth! Let’s go. The celebration has started” the other girl called as Ruth ran lightly towards her.
Naomi stood at the door watching them leave. She prayed silently that all would go well.
Ruth remained reserved throughout the party. Her female partner had gotten carried away by the excess food and wine. However, Ruth remained observant of Boaz’s movement, making sure he did not notice her by hiding from his sight even if it meant covering her face when he looked towards her direction.
He appeared so happy. The harvest had been great and it was a great moment for him. She liked how he looked so merry without a care in the world.
What could be his deepest need? What could be his deepest concern?
As she watched him, she realised that she cared for Boaz. It was more than admiration but she desired to know who he was beyond what she had already experienced.
He stood up and walked away from the crowd, his steps in a fragile manner until he was at the threshing floor. He lay at the end of the heap of corn and curled gently, his head resting on his arm.
She walked softly, uncovered his feet and lay close to them.
At midnight, Boaz woke up only to notice that a woman was at his feet. He panicked, he hoped he had not done anything inappropriate. He never did but how could he explain a woman being here. He had never brought anyone with him to this place.
In a careful tone he asked “Who are you?”
“I am Ruth your servant. Please spread your cloth over me for you are a near kinsman”
Boaz was overwhelmed. He could not believe his ears.
“You are blessed of the LORD. You have shown me more kindness in the end more than in the beginning. You did not pursue after young men whether poor or rich. Now do not fear, I will do all that you require of me to do so that the whole town will know that you are a virtuous woman. You are right that I am a near kinsman but there is someone nearer than I. Remain here until morning. If the other kinsman will agree to complete the process, I will let him but if he refuses then I will gladly do as the LORD lives. Just remain here until morning”
When morning arrived, Boaz woke her up.
“It is better you leave before anyone knows a woman was here. Bring your veil and hold it”
He measured our six measures of barley and helped her put it on her shoulders. Then watched her until she went home.
Naomi was waiting for her.
“Mother you are awake. The morning is still very young” Ruth said as she put loaded veil down.
“My daughter you returned. What happened?”
Ruth proceeded to tell her everything “He gave me six measures of barley because he did not want me to go empty handed to you”
Naomi was smiling. It had worked. Boaz was deeply interested in Ruth.
“Mother you are smiling so much”
“Yes. Just sit still and rest and watch how this matter will unfold. He will not rest until he completes this today”
Ruth was nervous, she could not believe she had made the daring decision to lay at her master’s feet. Naomi had explained to her what her actions had meant and somewhere deep in her heart, Boaz was the kind of man she wanted and she needed at this point of her life. She needed somebody safe and tender. Somebody who respected her and looked beyond her predicament. She was not confident if she had what Boaz needed but she hoped that the other kinsman whom she did not know would not accept the deal.
“Be at rest my daughter. It will go well” Naomi patted her shoulder as she went inside.
Ruth yawned, the morning was young and she wanted to catch some extra sleep.
N.B This is an adaptation from Ruth chapter 3, kindly read it for the original format. It was fictionalised for the sake of this post.
THE ADVANTAGE
In chapter 2, Ruth guided into Boaz’s field experiences warmth in the expressions of the master of the field. Ruth without eye service builds on her testimony causing her to enjoy more favour from him.
In the last chapter, a kind of man and woman were explained and in this chapter we will look at what happens when they become interested in each other. We will also look at what it means to have an advantage and discerning when an advantage will yield appropriate results.
OBSERVATION
Naomi touched by Ruth’s kindness sought to repay her in the way she knew best.
Repaying meant giving Ruth a home where she could have rest. Naomi had seen that in the way Boaz had treated Ruth with kindness and sincere care.
Naomi with her keen old eyes knew that Boazneeded a woman who was a deep lover, hardworking and pure at heart.
Boaz needed someone who could love him for him and not because of his wealth.
Naomi had seen that in Ruth and with each passing day as Ruth worked in his field, Naomi could not help but notice how they both met each others needs and thereby fitting each other.
THE NEAR KINSMAN
This chapter relies heavily on a Jewish tradition that gave birth to the term Goel.
Goel is a redeemer. A person that redeems
A redeemer is one who takes up the responsibility of another to save, care for and protect the rights of the redeemed.
Naomi well accustomed to the culture knew that something could be done for Ruth according to the Jewish culture.
Ruth on the other hand did not know about it and most probably never bore in mind that she would remarry. Even though she had accepted the people, she was still at the mercy of their acceptance. There was no guarantee she would be accepted as well.
In Deuteronomey 25:5-10, this tradition which Naomi explained to Ruth was stated fully. Unlike what was stated in this chapter, Naomi advised Ruth to go quietly, which was the reason why Boaz was overwhelmed. Rather than shout or insist at the gate, Ruth respectfully came in private to remind him of a responsibility he had to fulfill according to culture.
Some African cultures share this same tradition: The tradition of marrying a near kinsman to the wife of a late male relative.
The near kinsman is the Goel who has to take up the responsibility of the family left behind by a late relative.
REVEALATION
Revelation is exposing hidden things. Only the one who holds the truth can reveal it.
Naomi knew her culture well but Ruth did not.
Naomi was not in haste to share this aspect of her culture to Ruth until she was certain that Boaz was interested enough. She also knew that even though Ruth had accepted her people, she needed someone who would accept her wholeheartedly.
Naomi, the older woman showed Ruth the way to go. She knew secrets which Ruth did not know and which she could never know without Naomi.
Naomi gave Ruth Tips, Timings, Place, and the Words to say.
THE THRESHING FLOOR
This was the place Ruth revealed her intentions to Boaz. It was the place Boaz recognised that Ruth was someone he could redeem.
It was the threshing floor and not another place. If Ruth had ignored Naomi’s instruction and choose another place aside the threshing floor, it would have been a disaster and a smear to her name and probably Boaz and Naomi.
THE GIFT OF ADVANTAGE
In order to progress in life with less stress, advantages are highly important.
Getting the right advice and tips will make more difference. It is better to get advice from a seasoned person who has had experience. Learn from their mistakes and maximise their methods.
Having the opportunity to be guided by a seasoned person is an advantage that should not be tossed aside.
Advantage can come in the form of a prepared foundation. This reminds me of David and his son Solomon. David prepared all the items that Solomon needed to build the temple and all Solomon had to do was build because the layout for the temple was already prepared by his father David. (Read 1Chronicles 29)
Advantage can come in the form of people. This is a common term for us. Connection is the word. When you have the right people for certain needs, it is easier to get help than one who does not have anyone. This reminds me of Joseph and his brothers after they had reconciled. Joseph’s family got the best portion of the land because of the presence and importance of Joseph in Egypt. (Genesis 47)
Advantage can come in the form of a good reputation and abilities. Some people have gotten special treatment because one of their parent has a good reputation or they have proven themselves worthy in character. Certain people enjoy some privileges because they had upheld a standard character in the presence of another that can provide them with the advantage. This reminds me of David who was called to play in King Saul’s court. He had gained that advantage because of his good reputation and his ability to play instruments. (1Samuel 14:14-23)
Advantage can come in the form of mastery. The ability to do what others can do in a better way can be an advantage. Many people may appear for the same opportunity but because of mastery, some will get the opportunity and others will not. This reminds me of Bezaleel the son of Uri and Aholiab the son of Ahisamach (Exodus 31, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39).
THE GIFT OF ADVANTAGE FROM GOD
Every Christian has an advantage needed for life. This theme was mentioned in chapter 1, 2 and now 3.
The Holy Spirit is the revealer of God’s truth in His word.
John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. (KJV)
It is by the Holy Spirit we can know the mind of God for us and the world around us.
The Holy makes the things of God clearer to our heart.
John 16:13 Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth: for He shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever He shall hear, that shall He speak: and He will shew you things to come.(KJV)
The Holy Spirit leads us into the truth of God’s word without confusion.
TheHoly Spirit is the advantage of any believer.
OBEDIENCE
You see, Ruth was a wise woman who knew when to obey. She had refused to obey Naomi when she had insisted she remained in Moab.
When she came to Bethlehem, she heeded to Naomi’s instructions. She was a new timer and did not know much. It was Naomi who knew.
Ruth did not play the game of “I know it all”. She listened and obeyed.
However, Ruth did not only obey Naomi she was wise to do it delicately.
Her obedience was not a careless one.
She did not obey haphazardly. Her obedience was properly done.
Despite the hardship she had faced, Ruth remained a delicate woman. A woman who could still reach out to her tender side.
She did not reach out for Boaz desperately even though she needed him but she gave space for his approval.
She lay at his feet quietly until he woke up by himself.
She was patient for him to wake up even though it may have taken her all the courage she had to proceed with Naomi’s advice.
Ruth fully guidedknew what to expect and how to respond.
We may receive counsel and either refuse it, accept it half-hearted, do it haphazardly or accept it fully and do it well.
Comparing our relationship with God, we have the opportunity to accept God’s commandment wholeheartedly or half-hearted. This shows in how we do the things of God. This shows in how we obey God.
Either with a grudge or with joy. It shows.
Deuteronomy 28:1 And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:(KJV)
Kindly read the remaining verses from 1 to 14.
BOAZ, THE MAN THAT DISCERNED
Boaz had given Ruth a lot attention and had interest in her. He may have hesitated because he wanted to give her space.
He was not a forceful person.
He understood boundaries.
Boaz respected Ruth for her loyalty to Naomi and her tenderness.
Boaz was proud of Ruth. He was willing to show her off. Her past did not mean much to him. He loved and admired her present, that was what mattered to him.
Despite all these intense feelings for Ruth, Boaz did not allow them to override the right principles.
He was a man of principles.
He could discern that Ruth had put herself in a vulnerable state (she was already a vulnerable person) and did not abuse the opportunity. At both of their vulnerable points, Boaz did not take advantage of Ruth.
It may have seemed that she had presented herself to him but Boaz understood what she had done and instead of shaming her, he covered her.
He protected her even in his vulnerability
Boaz was a matured man who had self-control.
He allowed her to take shelter under his watch and kept her discreet making sure she did not go empty handed after meeting him.
Boaz was a provider
His good treatment of Ruth was not seasonal but habitual.
It was his habit to treat her well.
Boaz was a committed man. This was evident through Naomi’s testament of him.
He made sure to keep His word and finish whatever he started.
IGNITED PURPOSE
With Ruth, Naomi was discovering purpose again. Her joy in being part of the blessing Ruth was going to experience made her sound different from the woman who had been bitter with God.
Ruth though new to faith had ignited a greater faith in Naomi
Ruth was Naomi’s catalyst but this would not have been known if she had not sparked her little faith.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
Boaz had what Ruth needed and Ruth had what Boaz needed.
However they needed Naomi to catalyse their reaction.
Does this mean we need people to catalyse our romantic relationships?
Not necessarily but we can see Naomi’s involvement in a symbolic way.
What Naomi did for Boaz and Ruth is what the Holy Spirit does for us.
He reveals to us what we need
We may have a longing in our spirit for an experience with God but it is the Holy Spirit who brings that desire to fulfilment.
For the things we desire, it is the Holy Spirit who guides us in all truth that will guide us in what to do,the place to be and the time to do.
How is this possible?
By cultivating a relationship with God on a daily basis, intentionally spending time to hear what God says and doing it.
THE SAME KINDS
Boaz and Ruth spoke the same character language.
They had similar core principles and this was a catalyst to their perception of each other.
This is to say that regardless of difference in personality and preference, character cannot be undermined. It is paramount in building close relationships.
Relationships with similar core principles have more impact.
During the week as I was preparing for this chapter, I shared this on Instagram:
Many times it appears that finding people of similar interests are hard to find and even though I will not dispute that, I believe that they exist and with time, with patience, God will allow a meeting to occur.
Ruth met Boaz and Boaz met Ruth.
SUMMARY
CONCLUSION
I thank God for this opportunity to share with you. In biblical context, this story of Ruth has many elements of Jewish culture which we do not necessarily have to practice. However, this story is symbolic and the themes highlighted are still relevant in this day.
By God’s grace chapter 4 will be shared next Sunday. I hope to have you here.
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“They say: Ask for help. Ask for help. But asking for help does not mean you will get it. Anyway, ask if you cannot help it”
O. R. A
Today’s post is special.
I was supposed to write it as a spontaneous yesterday but it extended until today.
What makes this post special?
Nothing specific except that there is no preamble. Something I have not done in a very long time.
Another thing makes today’s post special.
The seperator
So, here I am, trying to convince you on how this post is special.
This post is special because it carries words that summarise a lot of feelings.
Do you have feelings?
who do you have?
Who do you have?
How many people do you have?
Who….?
Before it gets weird
I am not one who can boast of having people.
You know like “I have so so and so”
Even in times when I tried, it flopped.
Maybe I have not learnt the art of having people
Honestly, in the past I felt sorry for myself. I criticized myself for being so horrible at relationships. Maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe I was too boring. Maybe I was tiring. Maybe I was burdensome. Maybe….
Okay… I am not a burden. I am not boring. I am not tiresome
The problem about having to deal with constant negative thoughts about yourself is that it eats you up. It sucks you dry. You eventually become the thoughts you encourage about yourself.
As one who has had to deal with perfectionist tendencies and self-criticism, I am learning that many of the things I allowed myself to believe about myself were false. Sadly, I encouraged others to believe the same about me.
So it was hard to accept good opinions about me.
I am nice? I am kind? Wait until you know me then I’ll see if you would still say the same
Self-loathing thoughts are not from God. They are devilish. They steal God’s light in you. They make you wrinkled. They dry you up. They are horrible.
In God, I know my worth.
When you look at your life, who can you trust?
Who has your back?
Who can you depend on?
For me, since I was finding it hard to have such relationships. I wanted to be one to someone. I craved to be a heroine. I wanted to feel important by bearing other people’s burden even if it came at my own expense.
Tell me all your problems. I’ll listen. I will comfort you
Even though it meant I was the one spending my own energy while the other person only recieved.
At the end, I comforted yet recieved no comfort.
But I was addicted to feeling like a superwoman and I continued to push my emotional needs aside. I continuously craved for relationships where I was the comforter even if I did not recieve same comfort I gave out.
But, I was dying inside. For everytime, these relationships waned and the gap seperated, I felt like a failure.
You could not even maintian this one?
I had become a comfort tool who was only needed when comfort was needed but put aside in other activities.
You are such a sweet girl. One of the best people I have met. Blah blah
I believed that if I was good enough to be a comfort tool then I was good enough for many other things but it semeed I was too much to handle.
Babe, the other sides of you are too……
Intricate
I had made an idol of friendships.
I had made them the most relevant aspect from whence I drew my importance from.
I needed that dose of nice words to feel good about myself.
I needed those compliments to feel relevant.
And unfortunately, I was not ready for the whole package.
At the side, God for years had been reaching out to my heart telling me how unhappy He was about the importance I had placed on people.
I could feel God’s sadness about how I placed my relationship with others above my relationship with Him.
I was seeing my worth in other people’s eyes and not His.
I could feel God’s hurt
I knew what it felt like to feel used for the good that I possesed then I was doing the same to God.
The victim sometimes can become a preparator of the same crime they were hurt by
It had to take many crashings and disappointments to accept that God indeed was my constant factor.
I had to learn through pain
The one thing I longed for so long kept crashing and I was getting disappointed in myself.
I lost hope in myself and in who I was.
In relationships
Why keep giving myself if I could not get what I also needed and wanted?
And those who offered themselves either disappointed or were not enough for me.
Talk about being chosy
God had remained constant. I talked to Him everyday. I shared my deepest secrets, fears and concerns with Him. He knew my fears, He saw my secret tears. He knew my longings. He knew my hurt.
That was when I relaized that I needed God more than my illusions.
I needed God more than people
Because
People are fickle. I am fickle
You like today. You don’t like tommorow.
My confidence began to heal. I could look at the mirror and see who I was.
God loved me.
That was enough
Because of the process, my first pointer is God.
My relationships are surrendered to God.
He decides who stays and who leaves.
When I struggle to love, I let Him know.
When I feel confused about any relationship, I ask Him for clarity and wisdom on what to do.
And even though relationships mean a lot to me, I do not dive into any, no matter how enticing.
I am not quick to give all of myself without restraint.
God is my restraint
My hope lies not in another imperfect human
It lies in God
Who helps me love imperfect humans
Like me
The love I show is not to prove that I am kind, lovely or sweet.
Thankful for the relationships I have experienced.
I have learnt a lot.
I hope you learn from yours as well.
N.B
I have experienced pure love but they were not always enough.
You see, when you depend on the love of another imperfect person you make an idol out of that relationship and any disappointment that comes with it is too hard to bear.
I have met good, nice and kind people but until I dealt with my internal conflicts, I was going to keep struggling to keep ‘people’
And maybe because when I love a person, I love them for them not exactly for what they could give me. I thought most people loved that way.
So as I wrap my head around how other people percieve relationships, I am learning to balance my own perceptions.
I told you today’s post was special.
Or was it ?
If you picked nothing, pick ‘Chose God’
Deuteronomy 31:8 And the LORD, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. (KJV)
Until next post, spontaneous or not, stay safe and God bless.
If you are regular on my blog, you will know that this section is for initial ramblings before the main post.
I have written several posts with a similar theme to today’s post but this post is still unique.
As a content creator, I am sensitive about timings and creating contents that would pass the message I need to pass.
Therefore, in respect to the 14th of which I have seen many advertisements, this post is purposely direceted towards the theme of the 14th.
I am not a fan of the 14th but it is interesting to watch the usual reaction to it.
Lets slide in…..
Dm?
L.O.V.E
This word is one of the most versatile word. It is used to describe preference for both living and non-living things.
It is appreciated in different ways and is not limited by a particular understanding of it.
They say love makes the world go round
Love can be described as emotions and it can be appreciated as actions.
Love is interpreted differently by different people
Love is a main theme in the Bible
Remember: God is love (1John 4:16)
Love can be defined to suite personal preference.
Repeating myself
What is love to you?
Falling in love
This term is very popular in the social culture.
It has been used in books, movies, animations and songs.
Fall-in-love
What does it mean to fall in love?
Is love a ditch?
If you fall in love will you break your head or limbs?
Just asking. What bone breaks?
Falling in love is a process of discovering and acknowledging special feelings for an individual. These feelings are often times romantic and are directed towards having a specific romantic relationship.
And if they are not reciporcated then you find your way🙂
Do you want to fall in love?
Or have you fallen?
How to do it
Here is where I give you the way you fall in love.
I be no romance expert but these are my observations.
When I be meditating on this topic, there were many things I thought I would say before giving you the tips but now I refrain
1. Fall in love without doing anything
It is not your fault. It just happened. This is what they call love at first sight or love at later sight. In this category, the person catches your attention and you dont care about anything else.
Including redlights🌋
The person caught your heart and you be running with it.
This is the type they say is blind
2. Fall in love with a physical characteristics
I did not want to use characteristics but I did anyway.
This one is about being in love with:
Physique
Smile or laughter
Voice
Mannerisms
Charisma
Charm
Attitude to life
That aspect of the person sparks something in you that you have no courage to spark on your own. They make you realize that there is something you wish you have but then they have it and you like it so you like them because they have it.
You get?
The thing be that if you remain in love with them for these things, when they lose it, you lose the love as well.
Conditional eh?
3. Fall in love for fun
Teenage kind of love that often ends at the school gate after graduation.
Nothing much to say.
It often happens because of boredom or pressure.
4. Fall in love with intentions
This be very intentional.
Either because of:
Business
Career goals
Ideal family type
Societal status
You find them who be common ground and fit your criteria for your personal goals and you fall in love.
Interest is the key word
5. Fall in love because it is God’s will for you
Now this is the crux.
And yes..this be real.
Falling in love with a person because you know that God wants you to be with them is another way to fall in love.
The only category that will not be here is 3. You can see elements of other categories here.
Falling in love this way means you do not share your heart anyhow but you intentionally share it with the perosn God has allowed you to.
Falling safe
How to know God’s will
Through prayers, peace and confirmations.
God confirms His words
Knowing God’s will is necessary for daily life and the way we know God’s will in mudane issue is the way we know God’s will in serious issues.
This is another topic for another day (I mentioned that in the last post)
However, if you haven’t checked the last post, I will recommend you to do so as I shared links that will help you answer this part.
Falling in love is not something we are completely unable to control. It is true that we may have a quick click with someone for little reasons but we have the ability to control how we respond to these emotions.
If the person we fall in love with is harmful to our lives or disregards core values we uphold then we can and should let go. We dont insist to remain because we are in ‘love’
Love is not foolish
Love is not blind.
Love can be given from a distance.
When we do not tie our emotional stability to a human being, we are able to make clear decisions even when it is tough. The problem is that some of us are emotionally dependent and this in turn affects our expression and response to love.
To be emotionally attached when it is not in the appropriate context only spirals to heartaches and if handled poorly, leads to heart scars.
As we trust God for other things, our emotional life should be entrusted to God as well.
Psalms 139:1-4 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. (KJV)
If God knows us perfectly, then He can handle our emotional life perfectly.
Accompainments
To The Heartbreaks That Never Happened is intentionally directed towards dealing with emotional attachments, disappointments and aches. It has been revised with new sections.
There is a Podcast which is an audio version of this post and it contains extras not contained in this post.
Your questions, comments and responses are welcomed in the comment section.
Deeperlook 