Affection – Deeperlook

Preamble

Day 4 of the 12th of 2020

You are welcome even if you are reading this on another day that is not the 4th of the 12th of 2020.

My day was mild and sweet and yours?

How are you?

How is the weather where you are?

Have you eaten?

Have you slept?

Do you feel content and loved?

Let’s glide into the topic

Habibi: Beloved

In Arabic, Habibi means beloved.

It is used to express love to an individual and depending on the pronoun, its pronounciation will differ.

Love is one of the most important ingredient in having and living a meaningful life.

It is one of the most sought after emotion.

Adulterated or not

It has been protrayed in movies, books, plays and will continue to be protrayed because it has the ability to draw warm emotions.

Why do we need to feel loved?

Why do we seek to be loved?

Wether romantic or not, love regardless of its context has the power to make the participants high on beautiful motions.

Why do we need to experience love?

Single people long for a relationship where they can share mutual emotions and feel adored for who they are.

Love, in experience is the ingredient that gives us the power to move beyond our flaws and experience moments where we feel special.

Sometimes, when the feeling of emotional (let me straightforward and call it romantic) love is not felt for a long time, the individual develops a thick skin to emotions which would in turn affect how situations are percieved.

Love turns our senses on. We notice things we didn’t. We forgive things we noticed. We pursue things that matter to that relationship.

I have heard in many videos that love is not a specific word because it can be used to descibe living and non-living things. However, regardless of this, whenever love is placed in a sentence, it signifies a special bond.

Love makes you feel special

Be loved

How do you respond to love?

This word is a heavy one for me because it carries a huge representation of my perception and affection.

I do not take it lightly when it is used carelessly.

Mean it

As I have grown older and have experienced a culture where it is used frequently, my perception is getting balanced.

What I mean is: I am not probing it as I used to

During these years, people have looked me in the eye and told me they loved me and in sincerity, I was taken by surprise.

You love me? Why? I thought I am too harsh and sulky

I won’t lie, those words were very softening and often caused me to lean more to the individual but….

I have also felt disappointed

Because, love means different things to everyone. The depth of our defintion of love differs.

And so did mine differ from these people.

N. B If you do not understand my narration above, that is because you do not follow this blog. These posts below will give a hint on my reasons for making my statements above:

There are recent posts but tons of others are related to it and will make more sense when you read them.

I was walking into the sitting room when she stopped me in my tracks and said “Rose, I love you”

I was like 😯😯

She continued “I love your expression and how you react like now, the way you are reacting. I love the way you do your things”

Super shy and not expecting that comment, I replied “Thank you. I appreciate”. I seriously felt embarrassed especially as her friend was there shaking her head in affirmation.

Unable to contain how shy I felt, I scurried to my room. Behind closed doors, I was like “Where is that coming from?”

Months ago, this individual would barely look at me or respond when I greeted her so I felt she was not interested in answering me so I did not let it bother me. I greeted when I wanted to and ignored when I wanted to. A month after, we interacted for the first time and she needed a mild help from me. After that we greeted each other warmly anytime I was outside my room.

In response to my awkward response, she said “I have always wanted to tell you”

Is she the first to tell me this? No, but to an extent, I inwardly blocked such words because I felt that most times they were not used sincerely.

Why use such powerful words when you don’t mean it?

This incidence showed me something about myself as I reflected on other incidences in my life.

I had unconsciously made myself feel awkward at responding to kind gestures or kind words.

I loved and appreciated them but I often felt that it was said too much and maybe they were said because the person did not not know me enough.

Maybe when you know me you may not love me as such

Negative thinking right?

My reason for thinking this was because most of the people who had approached me in the past had quietly faded away and sometimes I felt it was because I did not do enough or because they discovered I was deeper than what they thought or maybe because they lost interest.

The truth: I have had to grow and during those times, I needed to grow

Does it mean I respond in this way to everyone? No. There were people I warmly and confidently reciporcated their gestures because I expected it.

Regardless, kind words are super sweet. I don’t know how to develop tough skin against it

Why the elaborate narration?

At the end of the day, we chose our response to offered love.

It is one thing to desire to be loved
It is another to allow yourself to be loved
At the end of the day, we sometimes choose who we want to love us✌ O.R.A
— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) January 11, 2020

I have written muliple tweets on this topic and you can check my profile from the above tweet.

Loved

As I walked to church, I mediated on today’s portion and as usual God surpised me by sharing it in church.

The brother who shared, talked about The Power of the Love of God.

John 3:16-17 was his main verse

John 3:16-17  For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
 For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved. (KJV)

The words shared struck me as the preacher reminded us of God’s love for us. His kindness, patience, tenderness expressed in our lives even in moments we intentionally turn away from God.

We choose to accept God’s love

Accepting and basking in God’s love has been a gradual process for me and I won’t lie, it has been an interesting journey. The process of discovering and appreciating my worth in God’s eyes is invaluable and I am grateful for the moments I get to experience through out this journey.

And as I bask in God’s love, I also learn to see others the He sees them and that helps my heart to be more tender.

Tender sweet

Since I know that they are loved by the same God who loves me then I should love them too and this love must be sincere.

If you cannot love them close, love them though prayers

One who is loved much should love as well.

Now to you

Do you feel loved?

Are you in love?

Do you easily love?

Do you know of God’s love?

Are you basking in it?

It is one thing to know that God loves you.
It is another to accept it.
And another thing to bask and flourish in it.
…..#thoughts
— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) October 5, 2020