The older I get, the more Christmas has become a season of warmth and reflection.
The cooking, sharing and eating together is meant to strengthen the communal love that is poured into the process.
As a Christian this is a season where I am reminded again of God’s intentionality towards mankind.
Today, I slept and rested. Before that, we had cooked the day before, woken up early to complete the cooking then gave out some of them. Friends and family came to spend time and in these moments I allowed myself to rest.
I spent this one away from my nuclear home, and even though it was hard again I allowed myself to enjoy the love I was given by those I was spending it with.
(For the last 9 years, I have only spent one Christmas at home and yep there has been little I could do about it)
As usual, messages were received, sent and calls made.
I felt at peace with myself and allowed myself to enjoy the love that came in different forms.
Today’s keyword I shared with a friend was this “Put God in your thoughts”, that way everyday will be an wholesome day.
So here is my card to you:
This also brings me to the end of the blogmas series for 2023, and so far the shortest as well.
I was deeply inspired and I needed to share with you.
Let’s ride in…
YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST
person to cry
Or do many other things.
This is meant to be a season of joy and hope but some people are experiencing sadness and hopelessness.
some are heartbroken.
Today, I was reminded of the reality of mourning during celebrations and the heaviness that comes with it.
Grief cannot be measured neither can a time frame be given to it.
because we grief differently
I have talked about grief on this space a number of times and today, I won’t be as elaborate.
Grief is part of what we face in life, however it also shows us the beauty of the depth of our love and the ability of my heart to be soft.
So, if you are grieving a person, a relationship, a dream, and all the ‘what could have been’, I am here to remind you that your emotions are valid and relatable.
Just because many people are feeling joyful in this season shouldn’t mean you are not allowed to grieve.
YOU WON’T BE THE LAST
to feel this way
The birth of Jesus was in a season where other mothers grieved for the loss of their babies.
Therefore, joy and grief coexisted when He was born.
The manner in which we grief is dependent on how we have choosen to, or on the love our heart was able to share, or simply the way we have choosen to process pain.
I had a great day during church service, I was opportune to witness a 50 year old wedding anniversary filled with testimonies and also witness a 42 year old wedding anniversary filled with adventure. I drank wine, ate and sang deeply but I had got to experience the other side of joy.
I am still learning to grieve in a way that remains healthy for my overall well-being because there is healthy and unhealthy grief.
The difference is impact
2023, the year I worked better on grieving relationships.
Today, I was in the kitchen preparing a popular pastry made in Nigeria for Christmas day.
called chin-chin
After mixing and kneading the dough, I waited for an hour before rolling it out.
In the course of time, I had two beautiful children observing me as I rolled out the dough. They were curious and asked me a lot of questions. However, one question stood out from one of them.
“I want to eat chin-chin”
“It’s not ready yet. I am still preparing it”
“I want to eat chin-chin. Give me”
“I am still preparing it. If you eat it now, it won’t be good for your stomach. Be patient”.
This dialouge was repeated up to 10 times and my replies did not change.
My patience with the little one was being challenged, however I wasn’t perturbed because I knew that it was not the right time to give the snack because it was not ready yet.
but what about you and all you’ve been waiting for?
In the middle of the pastry preparation, it hit me and I saw myself in a similar role.
God and Me
God being the chef and me being the child.
I want certain things and I long to have them and my desires make me point at them with longing eyes, however God knows the right time to give it to me, and is not in a haste. Instead, He tells me to wait for the preparation to be over so I can enjoy it properly and fully.
I was not in a haste to prepare the chin-chin, I was more interested in preparing it well. I was quite intentional in all of the process and I even acted as a potter; shredding and moulding the dough, then flattening it out to give me size and form I desire.
The beautiful child came to the kitchen mutliple times to check on me. I could sense her desire and in my heart I wanted to make the chin-chin well so she could enjoy it when I was done. I found myself encouraging her, and at times scolding her when she was tempted to put her hand in the bowl of uncooked chin-chin. However, all of that was for her good.
because if she ate raw pastries as much as she wanted, she could get a stomach ache and wouldn’t be able to enjoy the cooked one
But am I not like that with God? How many times have I cried desperately for certain things? How many times have I reached my hands out stubbornly to reach for it my way? However, God in His kindness does not allow me to have my way because He knows better.
WHEN WOULD THAT BE?
She asked me many times when the chin-chin would be ready to eat and I kept telling her soon.
She tried reminding me that she could eat it the raw one and be contented to which I disagreed.
She negotiated. I disagreed.
How many times have I done that to God?
At this point, I had cut most of the dough and it looked like it was cooked.
but it wasn’t and I knew that but she didn’t
Sometimes, it may look like it however if God doesn’t hand it over to me, it is better I don’t go grabbing it.
Whatever God gives comes with peace.
At last, I begun the frying process and I fried two batches and guess what?
she was back to check on me
However, it was not yet ready to be given to her because it was too hot to be eaten. It needed to cool.
I had to reassure her that she would get a good portion once it was cool.
“But it is ready! I want to eat chin-chin”
“It is too hot for you. Once it is cool, I will give it to you”
Isn’t this the same with God. Possibly what I desire may be out of my ability to handle, and if I get it in haste it may burn me rather than bless me. Therefore, God would give me when I would handle it better so that it remains the blessing it should be.
Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow with it. (KJV)
finally
It had cooled down and I served her while she was sitting. She did not have to check on me again.
I brought it to her
This played out and it served as a reminder to me and I thought it best to share with you.
HERE IS WHERE WE END
The season of Christmas is a reminder that at the right time Christ was born. He fulfilled prophecy at the right time when God desired and not when man demanded for it.
Therefore, I long to enjoy God’s intentionality in creating my story. It could be hard to be patient but then at the end, God’s time will always be best.
Did you enjoy this? Let me know in the comment section.
Welcome here again (that is if you’ve been here before).
If you are here for the first time, I welcome you freshly.
Okay, let’s dive in…
CAN YOU SEE?
or are you like me?
Perspectives differ from person to person and it reflects our ability to observe well.
Those who have learnt the art of observing well, will likely give themselves the opportunity to have broader perspectives that is more adaptive and challenging.
I don’t want to be quick with using healthy.
How do you see?
How do you perceive things?
I found myself paying more attention to the lyrics of a song and I was able to understand the meaning the singer was trying to pass. However, prior to this I had discarded this song mainly because I had not paid attention.
What am I drawing from this?
The ability to have the capacity to be broad-minded is rooted in observation and attention.
If you can wait and listen, you’ll give yourself the opportunity to learn something more.
Proverbs 21:2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts. (KJV)
Our perspectives can change, and we should not be quick to dismiss a perspective we have not given thought to.
Today, I was opportuned to eat a tuber that I last ate many years ago. The special thing about this tuber is that it is yellow and bitter.
For those who have sweet tooth, this won’t be food they would want to try. It would put them off.
However, putting aside the ‘bitter taste’ it had a unique flavour that made my brain remember it even though it had been years I had eaten it.
As I savoured the flavour, it sunk today’s topic into my heart.
Perspectives are broadened by trying out.
It doesn’t mean that the perspective presented must be adopted but it gives you the allowance to see the world through eyes that aren’t yours.
Can you see now?
TO WRAP THIS OUT
As a Christian, I firmly believe in allowing the word of God be my first point of influence, however it also tells me to test all spirits (1 John 4:1).
To think deeply and be involved is to allow yourself the ability to listen and observe.
In this season of hope, I hope your perspective is not smeared by difficulties.
Do you have thoughts on today’s topic, the comment section is there for you..
As a child, my father was concerned that I would become an adult who would be apathic. He was fond of scanning my face because I was almost always moody.
The older I grew, I accepted that I indeed had a mood issue. It was hard to remain happy or joyful for a long period of time.
In a conversation with my mother she encouraged me to pay more attention to my triggers and how my mood fluctuated.
That was the beginning of my journey to choosing internationality with my moods.
We make choices everyday and one of them will be how we respond to the difficulties we face in life.
the discomforts
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
to find the little joys in your life
I have encountered different people and observed their attitude to life. I came to the conclusion that joy is a choice.
For example, I met someone who worked menial jobs but always smiled and remained lighthearted, adding to my daily happiness.I can remember her voice greeting me joyfully everyday “My friend”
I also believe deeply that Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and what this means for me is that the Holy Spirit strengthens our joy and gives us the right perspective in every situation.
Sometime in 2021, I created a podcast and shared a little bit more on this.
Click on image to be redirected to listen
LET ME HELP
you practice it better
You can do this by replicating what I have been practicing
Derive joy from nature: this is one of my favourite thing to do. I intentionally take pictures of nature whenever I step out of the house.
Today’s joy
Listening to music: I always play songs that uplift my spirit. I try pick songs that uplift my spirit or help me get through difficult moments and moods. I will always recommend good music.
I make myself hearty: I recently got a comment from someone who had been observing me during a tense period.
“Your ability to remain cheerful regardless of the stress you were put under was remarkable. You see, in other to go through life well and manage positions, you need to have good control your emotions”.
I felt good hearing this but deep within, I knew the long road it took to get there. I used my housejob to practice and I am good I was able to replicate it in another situation (I may repeat this scenario in another post).
Laughter × ♾️ :I find something to make me laugh even if painful tears follow after. Laughter relieves stress. No extra comment.
Family and loved ones: If you got them, great. They will boost your immune system (I can lecture you on this but I’ll spare you the details). A warm hug from a loved one can go a long way, and if that is not your thing then their company will do.
Gratitude: There is something to be grateful for. Find that reason and find some more. This has been a great therapy tip for the last 3 years of my life. It has improved my outlook on life and I believe it will for you.
I have been sharing my daily gratitudes here, you may add yours as well.
Click on image to be redirected
SO WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?
Especially as I have shared with you?
The truth is that we may not be able to prevent every uncomfortable situations that happens but we can face life with hope.
Christmas is a reminder that we have hope and through the birth of Jesus, we can experience true joy.
Therefore, whether you are busy in this season or you are taking it slow…
Find joy in simple things, this one of the ways to get through difficulties ❣️#loveandlight
There are stories to share and thoughts to communicate and I will start from somewhere.
Let’s ride in…
ARE YOU STILL INTERESTED?
As the years go by, the hype around Christmas has toned down for me.
It is gradually becoming a period where I reflect rather than celebrate. This I will say has been because for the last 8 years, Christmas has been solemn and more reflective than celebratory.
However, aside from the cherry tone of Christmas, it is a season when the year is coming to an end and therefore provides the opportunity to take stock of how far one has gone and put into perspective decisions made.
In terms of interest, I would say this is a period of maximizing the light atmosphere to prepare for the next year.
MULTIPURPOSE
Aside celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, the saviour of mankind, this is also a season to celebrate God’s love which we can show to loved ones and people we encounter. We should show love regardless of time but a reminder is not bad at all.
We may not have the same backgrounds and some are more cheerful than others, however, the older we get the more responsible we are for our outlook on life.
I started this some days ago, and everyday I write something I am grateful for.
However, in order to survive the decision and will to has to be sustained.
Keeping the will to thrive is strength and for every season that we are in our lives, we need look at growth.
Growth is key
THRIVE
Where you are
Blosssom and grow.
Grow and glow.
Psalms 1:3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.(KJV)
Thriving sometimes may mean continuing even when the desire to is not.
It may mean ignitting the passion even when the passion has weakened.
Those who continue to thrive will survive.
However, in order to thrive, patience play a key role.
In the process of thriving resilience is formed.
The man who stays in God will stay with God.
That is the person I want to be
I will confess, thriving has been difficult for on some days.
It has felt hard to continue when all I want to do is give up.
I have wanted to give up when I don’t seen evidence of growth or when it feels like I am going backward instead of forward but thankful that I am still here to share with you.
Preparation requires attention to details and even attention differs according top person and purpose, as long as it is important some level of preparation is done.
Success is a product of some level of preparation.
However, the truth is that sometimes our preparation may not be enough.
We may try our best but sometimes our best may not be enough and this can be disheartening.
Does this mean we should stop preparing?
YOUR PLANS
We have certain plans for our lives and sometimes it does not usually go the way we hope for.
Sometimes, we prepare and do all the necessary things but sometimes things the way we plan.
It is possible to set certain benchmarks for our lives and work towards them but still not reach them when we desire.
Just sometimes, it happens that way
As a Christian, making plans is not enough.
God is still the most important factor when preparing.
Proverbs 16:9 A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life],
But the Lord directs his steps and establishes them. (AMP)
How important is God in the plans you are making?
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your works to the Lord [submit and trust them to Him],
And your plans will succeed [if you respond to His will and guidance]. (AMP)
GOD’S PLAN
God has a plan.
This verse was written at a difficult time, therefore its premise is not a jolly one. Therefore it speaks volumes of God’s plans for us even when things do not look the best.
How God’s plan look good even when there is no sign of hope that things will end good?
This has been a question that has been hard for me to answer.
However, it tests my trust in God.
How far am I willing to trust God?
God’s plans for me are good even when things are not good.
God’s plans are to bring an expected end.
To bring me into eternity with Him.
I will comfort myself with God’s promises at all times.
God is good because that is His nature.
Difficult situations can make us loose interest in making plans because it feels like “Why should I bother?” but I am learning to remain disciplined even when I don nit feel like making plans.
There should be a lot to say about plans but I’ll stop here.
It is still a ride and thank you for being here (again).
Let’s ride in..
CHANGES
Seasons change.
People change.
They say “Change is constant”
Change occurs, if not quickly, it happens gradually.
We are subject to change and preferences change over time.
Experiences change us over time, even when we do not notice it or willingly give ourselves to the changes that come.
A man is shaped by the experiences he goes through.
However, it is still within man’s power of choice to determine how experiences shape his life.
Experiences shape us according to how we let it do so.
How have you changed over the years?
CONSTANT GOD
God does not change.
It is the proof of His faithfulness.
Faithful God
God is faithful and His character is ever consistent.
Psalms 33:4 For the word of the Lord is right;
And all His work is done in faithfulness.(AMP)
Everything that God does is rooted in His ability to remain faithful.
This means that we can trust God with our lives and future.
Hebrews 10: 23 Let us seize and hold tightly the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is reliable and trustworthy and faithful [to His word] (AMP)
The question is: Are we willing to trust God with our lives?
We all go through different experiences that shape us over the years and affect our outlook on life.
The experiences are both good and and ones and of course the bad potential of damaging us in ways that that may take time to heal and even if we heal, we heal with scars.
We don’t always have control of some experiences we have, but we do have a control over the extent of response we have.
God helping us
I have been having humbling experiences that keeps making me to depend on God for grace to be conformed into what God is shaping me into.
God shaping me is my desire
Thank you for being here.
It has been a journey and please do not forget to share this with someone.
To sacrifice is to give up something that is considered important.
It cannot be a sacrifice if what is given up is not precious and it is the extent of the preciousness that tests the depth of what is given up.
We all make sacrifices in order to achieve many things in our lives. We sacrifice time, energy, and resources to get to certain areas of our lives, be with certain people and achieve major targets we set for ourselves.
Achievements cannot be without sacrifice.
However, I have to draw a line,
Not every sacrifice is worthwhile and not every sacrifice is worthy.
The questions remain: What are you sacrificing for? Why are you sacrificing?
The reasons and the purpose of the sacrifice are important.
WHAT HAVE YOU GIVEN UP?
What are they?
Was it painful?
Pain is part of the process of sacrifice.
Sacrifices takes something from us and in the process of doing this we can experience pain.
When we think of the things we have given up to be where we are, I am sure it helps us appreciate our journey so far.
However, anyone that is not ready to give up anything is not ready to achieve more.
So what have you given up?
WHAT HAVE YOU ACHIEVED SO FAR?
I am not putting pressure on you
It feels good to achieve and to mark out all our goals.
It feels good to be in celebratory mood because we were able to get through with our plans, however the process to that needs to be acknowledged as well.
The painful paths should be appreciated before the celebration.
If we wait until we achieve everything, we may never celebrate well. The process is as important as the end.
IT WILL NOT BE IN VAIN
That is my comfort.
The sacrifices will not be in vain.
The sacrifices in the house of God will not be in vain.
Serving God will not be in vain.
Trusting God will not be in vain.
Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown for His name in ministering to [the needs of] the saints (God’s people), as you do (AMP)
It could be difficult but God is good and faithful.
I am comforted by the word of God.
I don’t know how this part related to you and if it did, let me hear from you.
Deeperlook 