March 2021 – Deeperlook

Reasons You Do Not Want Help

Preamble

Hello!

Welcome again

That is if you were here in the last post

If not

A fresh welcome to newcomers.

I want to confess:

Shhshh do not tell anyone

This post is new. It is not one of the older drafts I have been talking about.

They are carry-overs from last year

Okay

That is enough. Let’s slide in

Heehaw!🏊

No, let’s swim in

You understand, right?

Help me!

A cry for help can either be very evident or come in the form of complaints.

Commonly, it comes in form of complaints.

In a conversation, the discussion shifts to a particular concern and soon the whole topic revolves around it.

Now, depending on your ability to discern, you can pick up the cry for help or if you are too slow, the person has to spell it out.

I need help

Maybe you are the one complaining and depending on what you hope to achieve after complaining to someone, you are supposedly seeking help.

A problem shared is a problem half-solved, right?

Complain

Complaining is a habit. It can become a pattern that easily manifests when a person has devoted time and attention to problems for very long.

Complain about the weather.

Complain about the country.

Complain about the neighbour’s cat that meows at night.

Complain about the stubborn headache that won’t let you catch sleep.

Complain about the mosquito trying to give you malaria.

Complain about….

The Reasons You Don’t want help

This should be the main part.

1. You like to complain

I already said this.

Complaining has become your habit so you are not sharing your concerns because you want or need help. You just want to vent. The main annoying thing is that because it is a habit, you are a chronic time waster. You want to waste precious time by always complaining and that is very stressful and unproductive.

2. You think you know

Maybe you are used to advicing others. Maybe you feel so matured. Maybe you are used to being the one listening. Now the tables have turned, you still do not think others can help you.

Self-sufficient eh?

So, instead of asking for help, you’ll do experiments even if it will cost you more.

Let me confess, I get put off by help I did not solicit for.

I know how to help myself. I did not ask you

Sometimes, I do not like to be infused with helpful options because I already have my own way of solving the problem.

I did not ask you

Other times, unsolicited help has saved me. So it depends..

It depends

3. You are traumatized

You tried to ask for help before and you were ignored, pushed aside or disrespected.

Ever asked help from someone uninterested in giving you help?

You are fed up with being disappointed by others, so why try hard?

If I won’t get help from others maybe I should help myself.

4. You have not found the right people to ask.

Maybe the people around you are so annoying.

Like they sit on your nerves!

The few times you asked for help, they were so clueless and did not offer to make an attempt to help.

They poke their noses too much. You ask them for help and the next thing they want is all the information about your life and your future.

Now you know that they are not really interested in helping you, they just want information about you for records.

Ever shared a concern about something bothering you and the person starts asking you unrelated personal questions?

I was not talking about my father. I was talking about me and the cat.

The people around you are too selfish to help and you know it so you just find a way to avoid asking for help.

5. You are enjoying your problem

Yes, you are complaining about it but it does not mean you are tired of it.

Maybe you like the way it makes you pitiful.

Eyah sorry

You like the pity you recieve and maybe the small coke and biscuit that comes with it.

You enjoy wallowing in your problems because you have formed a toxic relationship with them and it has now become one of your identities.

The fact that I complain does not mean I want a solution. I just want the pity.

Pity me!!!!

You don’t want help because you are too comfortable in what makes you complain.

A Problem solved

Is a problem resolved.

I do not appreciate perpetual complaining of the same situation especially when there are avenues to recieve help.

Many atimes, people want to be heard of their complains but are not willing to recieve and practice the help that is shared in return.

Why complain if you don’t want help?

Problems are meant to be solved.

Solutions can come in different forms and their sole purpose is to resolve problems.

When you decide to share a concern with a person, the end result should be that you get relieved and can make a move towards getting the problem solved.

Not encouraged or entertained

Sure, maybe you need listening ears. Someone that will not interrupt you. Someone that would just let you express yourself without cutting you off.

But the end goal of that conversation should be a step ahead before the conversation was made.

Complaining is a chronic habit and is often hard to stop.

It comes with a negative aura and can even end up in bitterness and anger.

What can be done?

Stop justifying your consistent habit of seeking unproductive attention by your consistent complaining. The person you complain to also has problems of their own. If you are always complaining about your problems then you will become the selfish one.

Accept help that is offered. If it is an idea or advice, try it out (as long as it is within a physically and mentally healthy perspective).

Stop rejecting help!

Please

Intentionally meet people that will help you. Sometimes, some of us go to people who cannot help us so that they can just listen to us complaining and after we drop our burdens with them, we leave them with the responsibility of dealing with our problems even though they do not know how to help.

You understood the above sentence, right?

Or maybe the person you are going to may not know but instead of only offloading your problems on them, ask if they know a person that can help.

Be a person who seeks and wants solutions.

Okay, what can I do now? What can be done about this concern?

With this mindset, we will complain moderately then less, and find solutions more.

Solution Haven

In my few adult years, I am learning to tell God everything.

I am not being cheesy here

Sometimes, I get carried away and complain a lot to people.

It becomes obvious and even annoying.

Onyiyechi, you are complaining too much!

I can feel the change in my spirit. The uncomfortable sense that I complained excessively, leaving my listeners drained.

Therefore, I am practicising to share my burdens to God first and share the exact way I am feeling it.

God, these are my raw feelings. I feel hurt, disappointed and sad. What should I do?

How does God answer me?

He gives me a bible verse to read, propmts someone to reach out to me, leads me to visit someone who will share words of comfort, the message in Church hits me at the perfect spot….

This art of being honest with God is one I observed in the life of King David. It makes the relationship with God more personal.

Matthew 7:7-8  Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. (KJV)

So instead of complaining, ask God for a solution.

Psalms 46:1  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.(KJV)

God will send people to help you. He will give you an idea that will change the situation.

And if you are the one that someone comes to seek for help from, God will give you the answer to help.

So when next you find yourself complaining too much, crosscheck if you have asked God through prayer.

When you ask through prayer, your response will be different from complaining and even when you are sharing about that concern, it will be a form of encouragement to the listener.

Conclusion

Gratitude balances complaining.

Life is not favourable for everyone but there is something to be grateful for.

I believe

Sometimes, it is hard to find what to be grateful for especially when you feel like nothing in your life is working.

But, if you search for a reason you will find it.

I have noticed the difference in my life since I became more sensitive about this topic matter and even now, I am still learning.

When next you want to complain, pray first. You will notice the difference.

A conversation with my mother helped confirm this topic. This often happens with my podcasts and this time around, it happened with this topic.

We were having a conversation and she kept emphasizing on this topic matter. I had to stop her and say “Mummy, I am writing this topic as a blog post. Your words will help”

Yes, these are the unique moments I enjoy when creating these contents, and it gives me confidence that God wants me to share them.

That being said, its been a while I shared a podcast. Hopefully, I should share soon.

This post was started 3 days from the last day of March and it is finally shared on the 31st of March.

Happy last day of March.

Until next post, stay safe and God bless.

Your comments and questions are warmly welcomed.

#daughterofabba

who do you have?

“They say: Ask for help. Ask for help. But asking for help does not mean you will get it. Anyway, ask if you cannot help it”
O. R. A

Today’s post is special.

I was supposed to write it as a spontaneous yesterday but it extended until today.

What makes this post special?

Nothing specific except that there is no preamble. Something I have not done in a very long time.

Another thing makes today’s post special.

The seperator

So, here I am, trying to convince you on how this post is special.

This post is special because it carries words that summarise a lot of feelings.

Do you have feelings?

who do you have?

Who do you have?

How many people do you have?

Who….?

Before it gets weird

I am not one who can boast of having people.

You know like “I have so so and so”

Even in times when I tried, it flopped.

Maybe I have not learnt the art of having people

Honestly, in the past I felt sorry for myself. I criticized myself for being so horrible at relationships. Maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe I was too boring. Maybe I was tiring. Maybe I was burdensome. Maybe….

Okay… I am not a burden. I am not boring. I am not tiresome

The problem about having to deal with constant negative thoughts about yourself is that it eats you up. It sucks you dry. You eventually become the thoughts you encourage about yourself.

As one who has had to deal with perfectionist tendencies and self-criticism, I am learning that many of the things I allowed myself to believe about myself were false. Sadly, I encouraged others to believe the same about me.

So it was hard to accept good opinions about me.

I am nice? I am kind? Wait until you know me then I’ll see if you would still say the same

Self-loathing thoughts are not from God. They are devilish. They steal God’s light in you. They make you wrinkled. They dry you up. They are horrible.

In God, I know my worth.

When you look at your life, who can you trust?

Who has your back?

Who can you depend on?

For me, since I was finding it hard to have such relationships. I wanted to be one to someone. I craved to be a heroine. I wanted to feel important by bearing other people’s burden even if it came at my own expense.

Tell me all your problems. I’ll listen. I will comfort you

Even though it meant I was the one spending my own energy while the other person only recieved.

At the end, I comforted yet recieved no comfort.

But I was addicted to feeling like a superwoman and I continued to push my emotional needs aside. I continuously craved for relationships where I was the comforter even if I did not recieve same comfort I gave out.

But, I was dying inside. For everytime, these relationships waned and the gap seperated, I felt like a failure.

You could not even maintian this one?

I had become a comfort tool who was only needed when comfort was needed but put aside in other activities.

You are such a sweet girl. One of the best people I have met. Blah blah

I believed that if I was good enough to be a comfort tool then I was good enough for many other things but it semeed I was too much to handle.

Babe, the other sides of you are too……

Intricate

I had made an idol of friendships.

I had made them the most relevant aspect from whence I drew my importance from.

I needed that dose of nice words to feel good about myself.

I needed those compliments to feel relevant.

And unfortunately, I was not ready for the whole package.

At the side, God for years had been reaching out to my heart telling me how unhappy He was about the importance I had placed on people.

I could feel God’s sadness about how I placed my relationship with others above my relationship with Him.

I was seeing my worth in other people’s eyes and not His.

I could feel God’s hurt

I knew what it felt like to feel used for the good that I possesed then I was doing the same to God.

The victim sometimes can become a preparator of the same crime they were hurt by

It had to take many crashings and disappointments to accept that God indeed was my constant factor.

I had to learn through pain

The one thing I longed for so long kept crashing and I was getting disappointed in myself.

I lost hope in myself and in who I was.

In relationships

Why keep giving myself if I could not get what I also needed and wanted?

And those who offered themselves either disappointed or were not enough for me.

Talk about being chosy

God had remained constant. I talked to Him everyday. I shared my deepest secrets, fears and concerns with Him. He knew my fears, He saw my secret tears. He knew my longings. He knew my hurt.

That was when I relaized that I needed God more than my illusions.

I needed God more than people

Because

People are fickle. I am fickle

You like today. You don’t like tommorow.

My confidence began to heal. I could look at the mirror and see who I was.

God loved me.

That was enough

Because of the process, my first pointer is God.

My relationships are surrendered to God.

He decides who stays and who leaves.

When I struggle to love, I let Him know.

When I feel confused about any relationship, I ask Him for clarity and wisdom on what to do.

And even though relationships mean a lot to me, I do not dive into any, no matter how enticing.

I am not quick to give all of myself without restraint.

God is my restraint

My hope lies not in another imperfect human

It lies in God

Who helps me love imperfect humans

Like me

The love I show is not to prove that I am kind, lovely or sweet.

I show it because I love God

And God loves those that I have to love

So cheers to this journey of love

The journey of growth

The journey of sincerity

The journey of purity

The journey of confidence

And if you are in my shoes, I hope you chose God first.

It is not theory, I just shared mine with you.

Accompainment

Quiet memoirs volume 2 was inspired by these feelings.

You can preview it HERE

Conclusion

I am grateful for how my life is taking shape.

I am grateful for the discoveries I have made.

Thankful for the relationships I have experienced.

I have learnt a lot.

I hope you learn from yours as well.

N.B

I have experienced pure love but they were not always enough.

You see, when you depend on the love of another imperfect person you make an idol out of that relationship and any disappointment that comes with it is too hard to bear.

I have met good, nice and kind people but until I dealt with my internal conflicts, I was going to keep struggling to keep ‘people’

And maybe because when I love a person, I love them for them not exactly for what they could give me. I thought most people loved that way.

So as I wrap my head around how other people percieve relationships, I am learning to balance my own perceptions.

I told you today’s post was special.

Or was it ?

If you picked nothing, pick ‘Chose God’

Deuteronomy 31:8  And the LORD, He it is that doth go before thee; He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. (KJV)

Until next post, spontaneous or not, stay safe and God bless.

#daughterofabba

SO WHAT NEXT?

Preamble

Hi…

Let me tell you something:

I have two older posts that I have stalled for so long yet this post is as fresh as freshly baked bread.

Have you eaten freshly baked bread before?

You know how the aroma of baked smell is, right?

These two posts will get their time to shine but for now, they remain drafts.

Today’s post kept jumping on the trampoline of my mind, so I had to allow it the space. I hope the written words in this post will express it fully.

Lets wishwosh in (don’t take that word seriously 😂😂)

Your dream came true

After waiting all these years, you finally achieved your goal(s)

Congratulations!

You finally completed your educational journey

Congratulations!

You finally married the love of your life

Congratulations!

You finally bought your favourite car

Congratulations!

You finally went on a vacation to the place of your choice

Congratulations!

You finally had beautiful children

Congratulations!

You finally built the magnificent house or bought one

Congratulations!

You opened your eyes, and all your good dreams were now a reality

Congratulations!

You…….

Congratulations

Is there more?

After you tick off your lists, are there more to create?

Why can’t we just end it on one list?

Why do we have to create more lists?

After getting our dream everything, we are posed with handling them well and expecting more from we are.

When you get your dream car or house, you now want them to be plural.

When you get beautiful children, you oiw have to care for their present and futures.

When you finish one educational level, you are now waiting for another.

Must more lists be created?

Why is there more?

Is there more to achieve?

Why can’t we just stop somewhere?

We were made to desire more

It is not greediness.

It is the desire to get better.

I’ll call it that

Even contented people desire more but they are not overwhelmed by their desires.

Overwhleming desires have always been a point of concern

We were made to desire more.

The more we know, the more we want to know more. The more we have, the more we want to have more.

For every new step, there is another step.

The more we know God, the more we want to know God more

We were made for more
O. R. A

So do not percieve it a strange feeling that after achieving your goals, you want more goals to achieve again. That is the feeling of progress.

So what next?

I still have many things I want to achieve.

For example

Have an art exhibition. Own a……. Make vintage collections. Print hardcovers of my works. Write more off my huge book list. Create a…… Do……. Become a…. Complete….

Okay, that is enough for now.

It is great to look forward with excitement but know that it comes with greater responsibilities as well.

There is an advice my mother gave me and I have taken years to appreciate it.

Do not be over excited for anything. Handle excitement with caution. You can get easily disappointed and bored if you are too excited about certain things. (Paraphrased her statement)
My Mama

This advice sums up what I said previously: With every new level we are excited about comes a new level of responsibilty.

Ecclesiastes 5:10

He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.(KJV)

In an opposite way, we may get overwhelmed by the thought of new responsibilities that we do not enjoy our current victory. This too, is over the line in a negative way. Enjoy your victory.

Enjoy your victories, please

Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion. Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this is the gift of God. For he shall not much remember the days of his life; because God answereth him in the joy of his heart.(KJV)

There is a time to enjoy the results of your hardwork.

Enjoy it

Ecclesiastes 9:7-8

Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works. Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment.(KJV)

And as you continue progressing and meeting new responsibilities, enjoy your victories in every level.

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.(KJV)

And while you are in your next level or waiting to get to the next level…

Conclusion

I am currently at this stage of my life and as I hope for the best and prepare for it, I am excited yet cautious of my next steps.

My confidence, however lies in God who orders my steps.

So as you check off your lists and praise God for victories make sure God is your determinant factor.

NOTE: All images belong to me and posters created by me. To see more of these images, check my instagram page @onyirose12

Your comments are welcomed. If you are new, subscribe.

Like and share to others. Thank you✌

Stay safe and God bless.

#daughterofabba

MAKING JESUS PERSONAL

Preamble

Hello!

Welcome to another preamble. I hope you are well.

How has life been?

How have you been coping?

Today’s post is not extremely new but it is unique and special. It popped into my heart about two weeks ago and just recently, I had an experience that made this topic more real to me.

Lets ride in 🚴🚵

Who is Jesus to you?

To me Jesus is my personal saviour. What that means is, Jesus is the one in whom I put the assurity of my salvation on. Jesus is the reason I will go to heaven.

Jesus is the way to heaven.

He proclaimed that Himself and I believe because all Jesus has ever said are true and therefore His testament about Himself is also true. I also believe Him because He fulfilled every single prophecy written about Him. He was very specific to the point of asking for something to drink on the cross so that He could fulfill the words written by David.

So if Jesus was that precise to prove every words written beforehand then His claim about Himself is also true.

John 14:6  Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.(KJV)

Being like Jesus

What does it mean to make Jesus personal?

It means going beyond only declaring by mouth how much we love Jesus to living like Jesus.

This is the struggle….

There is a picture most of us have created of Jesus which is not consistent with the scriptures.

We assume that to be like Jesus, it means being liked or loved so in order to achieve that status, we try as much as possible to please everyone.

Jesus never tried to please everyone, He only made sure that He put The Heavenly Father first, every other person came second.

Jesus was strong in character, had compassion yet never condoned or encouraged sin.

His concern was not the crowd loving Him. His concerning was fulfilling His mission and so whatever He did was in line with prophecy.

Making Jesus personal means living daily like Jesus.

It means following the same principles Jesus followed.

It means making Jesus matter in your life.
O. R. A

When Jesus matters in your daily life, certain activities would be abandoned. Certain relationships would be limited and if possibly terminated.

But….

Jesus loved sinners but He never encouraged them to remain in sin. That too should be our attitude.

As much as we are to love those God has put in our paths, we should understand limit and boundaries and how our relationships are affecting our personal walk with God.

How much has Jesus affected you

How has knowing Jesus affected your life?

Any difference before and now?

How has His words transformed your thoughts?

Do you listen to the Holy Spirit?

How has Jesus influenced you?
O. R. A

What has changed since you accepted Jesus into your life?

That is if you have

What would your answers be?

God bless you

Not long ago, I got into a situation with a tricylist.

I had gone to a nearby shop to get a large bottle of water.

I was already late for the church evening service for that day so using a quick transport was going to help.

I highlighted the tricycle and it stopped. I explained my location and the driver asked me to hop in.

Within a minute we were in front of my residence.

“How much?”

The mistake I made….

“Give me whatever you have”

“How much please?”

“Give me whatever you have”

I proceeded to give him a reasonable amount because of the distance and that was when he insisted I gave him double the amount.

First, I was irritated. This attitude was one I really disliked and was a huge reason I avoided tricyclists. Most of them often looked for reasons to quarrel.

“Take it. The distance is not far. It is just here”

“No. You have to give me double because of the water”

The passenger I had met in the tricycle took the money from me and gave it to the driver but the driver rejected it.

“I do not have time. I have a place to go. Take your money”

“If you won’t pay me double, you can go with your money”

“Take your money. The distance is not far. I do not have time”

After a back and forth. He collected the money and added

“Animal”

I heard him and because I could not reply him in his language, I said

“God bless you”

It was left for him to check what that meant.

N.B The above conversation was in broken Arabic😂. Do not ask if I am a pro🙂 because I am not.

Before I met this man, I was not feeling great and I wish I had asked him of the price before getting into his tricycle. Also, I was irritated by his efforts to extort an unneccessary amount of money from me for an extremely short distance. I dislike haggling and avoid it as much as I can but in this case, he had tied me so I could not avoid excusing myself.

Should I have given him the amount he later demanded for?

To avoid the back and forth?

I have done that in the past but I did not want to do it that day.

Was it right for me to go back and forth with him?

I wish I did not. I should have left the money in his tricycle without encouraging the conversation.

When I replied his insulting word with ‘God bless you’, I felt different.

I felt like an achiever😂😂

My only prayer is that the words stuck in his head.

It is in situations, confrontations, events that our relationship with Jesus will be tested.

We are not tested in isolation but in relational states.

I had to pray for my heart to forgive the mean word and laugh lightly to myself. The words of the man were not to hold meaning to me.

Plus, I needed to learn my lesson and ask for price regardless of the distance.

Conclusion

It is not enough to say you love Jesus yet He has not caused a meaningful change in your life.

The process varies for everyone based on the willingness of the heart to be transformed.

It is a daily walk with lessons to practice but it is possible.

How personal is Jesus to you?

I asked many questions in this post, your comments are welcomed.

Stay safe and God bless.

#daughterofabba

LESSONS I LEARNT FROM MEDICAL SCHOOL

Preamble

Hello…..

Welcome here 😇😇

Today, I will be sharing some tips that will help you if you are considering going into medical school or if you are in medical school.

Kindly share to those who will need it or will be interested.

Let’s ride in..🏇

Why are you interested?

This is a very important question that you need to ask yourself in any venture you are about to get into.

Many people have their perception about being a medical personnel but the most important question is to ask yourself why you are interested in the medical field.

What is driving you to choose medicine or any other medical course?

Once you can answer this question properly, you will have a proper start.

Some people get answers to this question later on while others never do but it plays a huge role in your attitude towards your career in the future.

I was never interested in medical school in the earlier stage of my education in primary and secondary and my decision to pursue medicine came as a surprise to my family.

I personally had a phobia for needles and blood but could not explain my increasing interest in medicine.

After praying about it many times, making important mistakes, and stressing my parents with my inability to make a firm decision, God made a way for me.

My main reason for studying medicine was because God led me. This is one area of my life, I have been so confident about God’s leading. God gave His word and confirmed it many times through other people. Therefore, I did not enter medical school for selfish reasons but because I knew God wanted me there.

Knowing God’s intention for me really helped in times I became very weak and scared.

So, I ask again:

Why medicine?

What is your goal?

What are you hoping to achieve from medical school?

Your attitude can be changed but it may take a while if you do not pay attention to it.

What I mean is: What type of medical student do you want to be?

Creating a pattern will help you throughout medical school and this also depends on knowing your strengths and weaknesses. If you are a night owl, you need to create a pattern that will favour you academically. If you love participating in many extracurricular activities, you need a healthy pattern to balance it.

For most of my medical school years, I often dozed in the morning class. I usually slept very late and woke up very early to attend classes. This did not balance with my system and so it displayed as me sleeping.

Interestingly, I always sat in the front row but another interesting fact was that I was able to hear what the teacher was saying. This was not a healthy pattern and it took almost to the end of medical school to start balancing it.

So, know your weakness and create a pattern to balance it.

What is your support system?

As you are entering medical school or as you are in medical school, what is your main support system?

Family and friends?

Hobbies?

A side job?

What can you fall back on when you get overwhelmed.

Honestly, appreciating God as my supporting system took a while. I intially looked to family and friends for my main support and it was quite tough.

Family tried and friends fluctuated but I was not always satisfied with the support I got or I felt it was not enough for me.

It was until I had acknowledged God as my main support system, did I begin to to release my high expectations on others and also release myself from feeling too disappointed at many situations.

Is medicine your only option?

Are you going to only focus on medical school or there are other areas you want to diversify your attention?

Is being a medical doctor your only goal? Or you would like to do other activities that are not medically inclined.

I entered medical school with the mindset that I was not going to focus all my attention and energy on it. I had other areas of interest where I was also going to give some of my attention to and that was how this blog and every other content shared here was birthed.

If you love medicine and another field of interest, can you combine them? Will you be able to cope?

These are important questions to ask yourself before getting into medical school.

Lessons I learnt

I will now share specific lessons I learnt from medical school.

You need God

This may be one of the longest period of study for you and you have to be intentional not to waste it.

In this period of your life, you will learn so much about patience, trust, hope and faith.

You will also learn maturity and how to respond to different situations around you.

If you do not use the period to develop a healthy relationship with God, then you have wasted precious moments that would be relevant in your future endeavours.

You need God not only in medical school but in your personal life.

Have realistic and worthy expectations

Do you want to be an A student? Or you want to just pass?

In medical school, there are no GPAs. Meaning that your past victories in previous classes is not accumulated to your final class. Every section is unique in itself and you cannot rely on your great scores in previous classes.

For every class, you need to pursue your desired goal.

I will advice that you aim for good grades. I say this because it acts as cushion. It is better to aim for the best and get a good middle.

This also depends largely on your ability to comprehend what your current class is about.

Your goal will affect your habit and attitude towards your current class, so be realistic and have worthy expectations.

Do not look down on yourself but find ways to strengthen your weak points.

Chose the right crowd

Your circle of friends will matter a lot. This too, is driven by your personal goal for medical school.

Be intentional about your regular and close relationships in medical school. Do not ignore them.

Develop a sensible study pattern

How easy do you grasp things?

How good is your memory?

Can you understand without studuing huge materials?

Personally, I enjoyed reading multiple text books on the same topic matter because it was my way of grasping additional information regarding the topic. For some it was a waste of time but because I could organise my pattern to suit it, I was not always affected by it.

Also, I knew that majority of my understanding came from the class so I always made sure to attend all my classes.

I also used sticky notes to study and I would advice you to try it as well. There is an old post titled POST IT that shared my use of them.

Know what time of the day suits you and maximize it.

Have study groups

This is one area I fluctuated in but it is very neccessary. You will easily remember details you discussed with other classmates.

To be more effective, it is better to study first then discuss together rather than depending on other members to teach you what you have not studied.

Be at peace with your teachers

As much as possible, maintain a healthy relationship with your teachers.

Respect their rules and keep a respectful distance.

For the period of time you are in medical school, your teachers can make or break you. Importantly, medical school teaches you about proper manners and your teachers will be your first and important observers before the hospital will.

Choose health

Your food.

Your mind.

Your body.

Choose healthy patterns.

You are cultivating a pattern that will mould your work life.

Like I said earlier, my sleeping pattern was very poor for a long time and when I made changes I saw the difference.

Medical school is stressful but so is life after medical school.

Do not harm yourself in the name of stress.

Find time to relax and cool off. You have one life to do it right.

Go for check-ups when neccessary.

Honestly, going for check-ups can be scary but like a doctor told me “It is better you came and there was nothing wrong with you than you stayed at home and tried to treat yourself”

Exercise reguarly.

Just practice what you are learning in school.

Care for your mental health. Be intentional about it because sometimes you may get depressed about medical school and it may affect you greatly.

Your relationships matter

If you have non-medical friends who always taunt you about your choice to study medicine, it is going to drain your energy.

Be mindful of unhealthy relationships that always distract you and make you forget that you are a medical student that needs to study.

Turbulent relationships are not needed. Weed out toxic people and ensure that you have peaceful people in your inner circle. You do not need any of that toxic distaction.

Romance?

Can you combine it? Will it help you or distract you?

This is multifactorial and if you are struggling to combine the two, allow romance for the mean time until you can.

Your family will matter and I hope you will have the right support from them.

It is important to also have people you can talk to and they can pray for you and encourage you. I have been helped many times through certain people I shared with and they are well appreciated by me.

Trust God

Trust God who started with you to finish with you and continue with you in your medical practice.

Conclusion

There is more beyond medical school and I trust God for more.

I appreciate most importantly my family, close friends, regular friends, colleagues and everyone that contributed to this journey and I say may God grant your heart desires according to His will for you.

If you observed, the tagline for this blog changed from #fromthemedicalstudentfaraway to #daughterofabba. Now you know why 🤗

Disclaimer: All images used in this post belong to me and the last photo with stethoscopes belong to I and my friends.

Poster created by me.

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Until next post, stay safe and God bless.

#daughterofabba

WHY LIFE NO BALANCE?

Preamble

Hello and welcome after a long time.

I have about 4 topics to share before the month ends.

2 are quite old.

1 is less older.

1 is about 2 to 3 weeks old.

Today’s topic is some days old.

TIP: One of the topic is a special post. I hope you will be around for it plus I would love you to invite others to be available as well.

Interpretation

The meaning of ‘Life no Balance’ = Life is not equal or Life is not moving according to expectations or Life is not fair.

This has become a common slang especially in Nigeria as the hard times in economy is hitting very hard.

Most people do not feel favoured by current happenings and often times the complain that rocks social media is enormous.

All fingers are not equal

There are few people who have equal index and middle fingers. It is actually rare to find someone who has such digits in their hands.

Life events do not present everyone with equal opportunities.

Some people are born into affluence and extravagance and others are born into abject poverty. While some try to make it out of the slums, some do not.

Sometimes, it simply feels like the survival of the fittest.

It actually presents that way

The environment and events surrounding the upbringing of any individual has one of the strongest effect on their perception on life to the extent that even if they do occupy relevant positions, they may not necesarily upgrade in their mentality.

All fingers are not equal so are the spoons as well

Everybody has a challenge

Everyone has a challenge that bothers them.

You must have heard this multiple times

And just as our fingers and toes are not equal, so are our problems.

However, most people find it easier to compare their problems to another person’s problem.

Is that the only problem you have?

Sometimes, it is better to keep certain concerns to yourself and God than share it with certain people because if you are not discreet, you would feel much worse afterwards.

You are complaining, do you know what I am facing?

No matter how comfortable or affluent a person is, they have personal challenges that bothers them. It is either they have learnt how to deal with it or have only learnt to camouflage it well.

You don’t knoW

So take it easy

You see that beautiful photo on social media and immediately you have concluded that the person in question is living their best life.

You see a person driving an exotic car, and you immediately think that all their troubles have been driven away.

We were walking to the bus stop after window shopping for an item.

She was holding a very recent device that was quite expensive. It was easy for me to assume that she was well placed to get such a device. However as we conversed, I learnt that it was a gift from a close family member and not necessarily that she got it herself. Personally, she did not even care for the item in the manner I would have quietly assumed. She related her personal concerns and they were worth being concerned about.

I had just come out of the mall with my bag of items. The little girl trailed me with her poetic words of begging. She must have completely concluded that I had all the money since I had just come out of the mall. However, she did not realize that I was short of a meaningful change and wanted to save money by using the public transport. At the end of the day, I had to find some change to give her (she refused to give up)

It is easy for people to conclude you have the best of life because you have certain things they wish to have.

If I can just have what you have, I would be so happy

Or maybe, you may think I make money from my books or items I put up for sale on this blog or that I make any reasonable amount to put up content but the answer is no.

It is easy to assume all is well for another person more than you because you think you have it the hardest.

What are you complaining of?

The truth remains: Not all problems are the same.

I would not even argue that.

Hunger and not having a car are not in the same category. One has to do with survival, the other is an accessory that can assist your movement.

But it does not replace the fact that your concerns may eat you up even though it may not be a bother to another person.

Another irony is that some people may have the wealth and affluence yet lack good health either physically or mentally while another may be well and sound yet is struggling to make ends meet.

Different troubles and sizes.

Yet in all of these, whatever you are facing as a challenge is not irrelevant regardless of what another peson may try to say or make you feel about it.

What the Bible says

First, I will start with this verse

2 Corinthians 10:12  For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.(KJV)

Comparing your challenge with another person’s own is not wise. Your challenge is perculiar to you and you may not have the capacity to face the challenge of another person.

1 Peter 1:7  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: (KJV)

In the life of every believer, challenges develop faith and other strong qualities in us. It is hard to accept or even experience them but it does not change the fact that strength in character is built through overcoming challenges.

1 Peter 5:7  Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.(KJV)

Trusting God is a daily affair. It is not a one time event. It is a habit.

Consistently returning back to the place of surrender will give us strength and hope. It is important to note that as a child of God, your life is very intentional and packed with purpose in the sight of God.

Nothing happens as a coincidence when you walk with God

Returning to the place of surrendering our burdens to God should be a first point of contact, then from that position, God will grant us the ability to overcome.

A heart posture of gratitude is a strong weapon and I am learning to use it more often.

Without battles, there are no testimonies.

Overcomers overcome.

Winners win.

…..

Conclusion

To answer the question of this post, I will say that life no balance because of many things already mentioned in the Bible.

And for life to balance, one has to know God.

Balance can be interpreted as different things to different individuals but for the sake of this post, balance is focused on purpose.

In order to remain purposeful regardless, the anchor has to be Christ.

Salvation is for all and is not attached to race, affluence, poverty or experience. It is simply a gift to everyone who believes in Jesus.

Therefore even in storms, having Jesus is an assurance of hope and peace.

Jesus is my assurance of hope and peace. Amen

If you have not read this post titled Finding God, click HERE to.

Thank you for reading until here.

The theme of this post is not new, however it is still different.

This topic popped up recently in my heart and it kept recurring in my personal life and environment. I thought to post it after two posts I was planning to create but it really insisted on coming out first.

If this post blessed you, kindly share to others.

Your comments are welcomed.

All posters were created specifically for this post.

N.B The cover art for this post was made by me.

The menu button will lead you to other interesting parts of this blog, your interaction is well appreciated.

Until next post, stay safe and God bless.

#daughterofabba