And so I love listening to this song when am down. Am listening to it now. I talked about Andy Mineo in the last post and in this post the song is by Lecrae my favourite gospel hip hop artist.
I am not quick to label anyone or anything as a favourite but some things and people have a way to snuggle into my restrictive heart 😂😂
CAN’T STOP ME NOW by Lecrae
I love this song because it is direct, sincere, specific,encouraging,reflective,a fighting song. I love it because it is a song that helps my mind when it starts getting hazy.
Another song is YOU ARE MY ONE thing by Hannah McClure of Bethel Music.
That song strikes my heart. The whole album WE WILL NOT BE SHAKEN strikes the strings that make up my heart.
I am an extreme music lover. I need it. I once told a friend it is like food to me. It is spiritual for me. And my specific likes are Gospel music. They help me reflect as a Christian and help me meditate on all I study and engage in as a believer.
Am very picky about secular music and have few I appreciate……(lyrics are extremely important to me and the artistes come after)
So before I deviate…..
A young lady in her dust stained wardcoat, white coat. Her funny cap on her head. Her old bag, her funny socks and shoes and her scarf around her neck.
You see her walking on the road looking like she is in deep thoughts. Her strides majestically and her goggles reflecting Sun..
What would you think of her?
Well she doesn’t think she may care 😂😂
I just love the way I walk(a story for another blog maybe)
And so the thoughts that run and merry round her heart are the ones people may never understand why she is bothering herself about it.
And so I relapse often because I bother myself, I have tried to ignore but my mind, mind just wont let be
I bother myself with how this world (people) are so upside down, how everything is just outside away. How man cannot just be normal 😂😂
In summary how evil seems to be permeating and how people get away….
So after telling myself ‘Don’t bother yourself with what you cannot change’ . I relapse again 😥
Maybe am supposed to be a super hero 😂😂.
When I cannot fix it, when I seem not to have valid answers or patterns, I relapse and the world above my glasses, oops above my eyes seem to whirl and whorl…
In these moments I ask myself ‘What is the worth of life? Of existence? What is the worth of toil and suffering and sacrifice?
And the I dwell on this, I begin to continue agreeing with the Preacher Solomon as he ranted in Ecclesiastes. ……..
Well… God is watching over me and because I believe Him, His words make sense to me. Why I exist is a question I am living through and rather than regret, I walk in that path of knowing my existence has a meaning.
So even when I relapse, I feel great comfort, like a wrap around my being, my soul. I dont have to be the happiest at that moment but then my sad expressions have a deeper coat of peace…..
It is a feeling I can only share a little about because it is something so deep you have to experience to understand.
So with all my favourite songs which I cannot start mentioning because they are over a thousand….. With the words I read from my Bible. With the comfort I receive in my spirit through The Holy Ghost, I find myself taking more steps……
And then again, I feel fresh air. I am out of the dark clouds. My smiles are true expressions and my laughter from the heart. I seem to have come out from a deep revelation, a place deep within the earth.
My existence has a meaning and my toil will not be in vain….
So when relapse session comes again, I face with strength from the other time hoping again for a deeper lesson
ADDITION
When you have a greater burden expect a greater burden of emotions…
N. B This started a week ago and right now am listening to more danceable( this is not an English word) songs. And I crossed over since weeks ago…
If you are in a deep end and your emotions overcloud you.. Reach out to God… Reach out to humans and reach out to purpose.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
God has always been my therapy😊😇
#fromamedicalstudenyfaraway
Deeperlook 