Preamble
2 days left
God is good.
How are you doing?
Lets ride in….
As usual
Look at me!!
Do you like attention?
Do you love attention?
I do not love attention, it trips me and makes me feel awkward but I do not like to be completely ignored. I am in-between and depending on the environment would love to express myself freely.
But…..
Sometimes, it is not always like that.
Sometimes you receive more attention than you want and sometimes you are ignored completely.
Are you people seeing me? Am I invisible?
To be ignored is not a nice feeling. To be left out of a discussion is not a nice feeling and depending on the group you can feel very irrelevant.
I can also contribute too
Have you been with certain people and every other person that meets both of you focuses attention on the other person and even if you desire to share in the conversation, you are subtly kicked out.
Am I that ugly?
If you have never felt this way, good for you.
LOOK AT ME!
Can you pay me some attention too?
When someone pays you attention, it means they have decided to give you their time and depending on who that person is, we may want the attention they give or not.
Everybody wants to feel relevant.
I am doing something meaningful too.
Therefore, regardless of how we may portray this desire, we cannot deny that having a senese of relevance is nice and fulfilling.
Sweet
I see you
Getting to the point of being seen takes time for many people.
Some of us struggle for it and some of us do not.
It just comes like bees to honey
Most of what we do is so that we can be seen.
Can you see me?
I will confess again: I too have struggled with these feelings.
I am being honest
Even when I think I have overcomed these feelings, certain incidence triggers them.
Can they see me?
Today, as I meditated God told me: FOCUS ON ME
This is not the first time I have gotten this reprimand and I do not take it for granted because I know God is saying something specific to me.
Onyiyechi stop focusing on the peripherals
The truth: God sees you
God sees you even when others don’t. The only problem is that you have not come to accept that God sees you.
You crave for attention from people more than God.
You feed on the minutes you are blessed with the minutes of their time even if they are feeding you viruses.
We already agreed that wanting attention is normal. The flip side is how we look for it
There was a particular time in my life.
It was more than once.
God prompted my heart to realize that I craved attention from other people more than I did with Him.
Yet it is God I depend on for many things
I spent few minutes of my day with God and went out expecting many attention from humans.
Onyiyechi you did not spend time with me. Can you now understand what it feels like?
With time, I have learnt to spend my day with God. Relay with Him my exact emotions. Ask Him questions. Ask for directions. Seek for help. Engage in conversations about verses I read and situations I had encountered.
I will confess, that this process is still gradual as there are times I still crave attention aside God.
That validation is good oh. God, I know you love me and I am special to you but sometimes, I wish I could have more from outside
The truth is: God has been taking me through a tough process where I am learning to let go of what could become an idol to me and I am accepting that God is enough.
God is enough for every area of my life.
Companionship is good.
Interractions are good.
But
God is enough.
And
God comes first.
Because
God is my source.
And
In God, I will get every other thing I need and want, including people.
Yes, God can give you people
You will know when you meet them.
God is enough
I pray you believe it.
Prayer
LORD, I thank you for everything. Thank you for my life. Help me to spend my time with you. May you become enough for me. May I see in you my everything that I need. May you be my first and may my sense of validation rise from you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Conclusion
God has been so kind.
So kind
The many things we discuss. As I was writing this post, God just reassured me about something I was bothered by.
My heart is often attacked with emotions that are not pleasing to God and the moment I give them space, they multiply. In these moments I begin to seek validation and reassurance from other sources, which sometimes are from my past achievements.
But
As I expose my heart bare God, He always comes through.
The same was happening as I wrote the post and midway, my heart was reassured again.
Focus on me
Intentionally seeking God is a journey. I am so grateful to have shared 28 days with you.
2 days left.
Kindly share to others.
Stay safe and God bless.
#daughterofabba
Deeperlook 