I was deeply inspired and I needed to share with you.
Let’s ride in…
YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST
person to cry
Or do many other things.
This is meant to be a season of joy and hope but some people are experiencing sadness and hopelessness.
some are heartbroken.
Today, I was reminded of the reality of mourning during celebrations and the heaviness that comes with it.
Grief cannot be measured neither can a time frame be given to it.
because we grief differently
I have talked about grief on this space a number of times and today, I won’t be as elaborate.
Grief is part of what we face in life, however it also shows us the beauty of the depth of our love and the ability of my heart to be soft.
So, if you are grieving a person, a relationship, a dream, and all the ‘what could have been’, I am here to remind you that your emotions are valid and relatable.
Just because many people are feeling joyful in this season shouldn’t mean you are not allowed to grieve.
YOU WON’T BE THE LAST
to feel this way
The birth of Jesus was in a season where other mothers grieved for the loss of their babies.
Therefore, joy and grief coexisted when He was born.
The manner in which we grief is dependent on how we have choosen to, or on the love our heart was able to share, or simply the way we have choosen to process pain.
I had a great day during church service, I was opportune to witness a 50 year old wedding anniversary filled with testimonies and also witness a 42 year old wedding anniversary filled with adventure. I drank wine, ate and sang deeply but I had got to experience the other side of joy.
I am still learning to grieve in a way that remains healthy for my overall well-being because there is healthy and unhealthy grief.
The difference is impact
2023, the year I worked better on grieving relationships.
I often think I can by first avoiding the pain but then the pain finds it way back.
Grief is very stinging. Its like squeezing lemons continuously into the sensitive eyes. Just at the space of relief, it comes back again.
There is no designated time frame for grief. Sometimes we never know how long we are supposed to grieve. Sometimes our hearts reach a point it accepts the reality of the grieving and allow healing to occur, other times the pain lingers for as long as.
In the story leading to the crucifixion, the disciples of Jesus were grieving.
It was dark moment yet they had to sit around the table and have passover wuth the man they had come to find their identity in.
Jesus gave them an identity and he was telling them he was going to die
They could not accept this reality and so they numbed it down and refused to acknowledge his words even though he repeatedly reminded them that he was going to die soon.
Is that not what we do? Deny painful realities?
Passionate Peter had declared ferociously “I will die with you!”. He then went further to carry a weapon to their usual private place where he used it on one of the servants who had come to arrest Jesus.
It was this same grief that made them sleep while Jesus prayed his heart out.
Luke 22: 44- 45 And being in agony [deeply distressed and anguished; almost to the point of death], He prayed more intently; and His [e]sweat became like drops of blood, falling down on the ground. 45 When He rose from prayer, He came to the disciples and found them sleeping from sorrow, (AMP)
Don’t we find ourselves tired when we are grieving? Our body aches and we have no energy to spare. We have spent our energies on the grieving process.
Now this grief can range from living to non-living.
From losing a person to death, to losing a precious relationship, to losing a job, to leaving a place, to missing an opportunity or experience, to misplacing a precious item, grief comes because we lose something we value.
You don’t grieve what is not precious to you.
Jesus was near them but it was as though He wasn’t because they were going to be separated from Him soon.
He was separated from them at the time of crucifixion. The one in who they had put their hopes in was dead and whatever aspirations they had died that day.
The grief they were all going through was sword piercing.
However, unlike them at that time Jesus is with us until the end of our lives.
To eternity, if we choose to be in eternity with Him
God’s word is true. He is near us in every season. In every kind of grief.
I pray we find the courage to hold God tight no matter the season we find ourselves.
Good or bad
There is a podacst version of this post.
Thank you for being here. Kindly share with others.
This topic follows personal events that happened recently.
I hope by writing, it would provide some comfort🌸
Stages of Grief
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
It does not always follow this sequence. It can be a mash-up sometimes.
A star
“I can’t believe she’s gone” I chanted to myself as I walked back home. It continually rang in my head as I sat in the classroom, and in the bus. I could not believe it. I am still struggling to accept it.
The day before, the world was mourning Kobe Bryant and I was losing someone precious. His death had shook me too, not a fan before but the thought that his death had taken him by surprise. The fact that he had died with his talented daughter. The fact that he was a good man, father and husband. The fact that other people had died unexpectedly. These kind of stories drench my heart in tears.
Why good people?
The premonition came, I was quite sad not knowing I had a reason to cry.
I saw the news, she had passed away.
She made my childhood so memorable. I called her my second mum. I had been planning that when I visited her state, I was going to stay with her.
The pain came gradually. I could not believe it but I cried. I cried out my eyes then I felt numb.
The next day, I was laughing at school with my friends. No-one had noticed that my face was sad, maybe I am good at concealing grief.
In the night and in the morning I felt weak but I stood up anyway. I felt God lifting me up to go out. I knew the reason why, when I did.
Everyone was super kind.
I just felt kindess. They had not known what had happened but they were kind, and that was some comfort.
Good memories flooded my heart. This pain had come quite close. This hurt was something I am going to feel for a while (I don’t know its lifespan)
The first time I felt it
I was quite young but her death hurt me for years.
Some people are too feeling, I am one of those.
The first time I watched A Walk to Remember, I cried my eyes out for days. That was the first time I realized that I was too feeling.
If you do not feel like I do, you will not understand.
Grandma
The warmest memory I cherish of her is her hug in the middle of the night while we shared the bed.
It happened so many years ago but I never forgot that feeling.
I am her doppleganger and have been called grandma by my family members. Strangers have called me grandma without knowing that they were just reflecting.
The pain was that I had wanted to see her but couldn’t. We had planned to see her but she left before we could complete our plan
It took a while, and my main comfort was that she had lived long.
She is the reason I am called Roseline🌹
Poetic days 5
I shared in the previous post that I had lost a classmate from secondary school. We were not close buddies but we never had a misunderstanding.
Thoughts crossed my mind about her several times. Thoughts of her in the past, her laughter, her behaviour, her face, her existence.
In the time frame of past, she was existing, she was fine. We were not worried we would lose her.
Now all that are left are memories. Memories that cannot be touched. Memories that can only be remembered, and nothing more.
Love hurts
You hurt the most when you love.
You grief more when you love.
Grief depends on how much you loved. It eats deep without your knowledge, you feel numb because you lost someone/something you thought you would always have.
C.S Lewis wrote a book using a pseudonym because he wanted no-one to know it was him. He had written the book as a tribute to his late wife. After her death, the sorrow that engulfed him was so overwhelming that he almost lost himself. The beauty was that he rested in God through his sorrows and that reflected in his expression of pain.
I have not read the book yet but I’ll share the title : A Grief Observed.
In one of my most favourite Korean series which I repeatedly watch and cry (cry), the male protagonist once asked the female protagonist “What kind of love do you want?”
She replied “Sad love” (sippun sarang)
In another secene he said “Happiness does not last for ever. Sadness does not last forever”
His statement was actually the basis of her response.
The remaining movie is heart drenching. Thinking about it makes me teary
I recently watched Frozen 2 and it was all bits of emotional. I love the Part 1 to pieces and this second part did justice.
Olaf as usual with his touching quotes said as he was drifting away “Some things are permanent, love”
Anna when she had lost Olaf and Elsa sang “This grief has a gravity”
Every grief has a gravity.
Art differs, so does grief
People grief differently.
Some cannot cry until their heart turns into shreds.
Some cry and cry
Some create a mechanism to move o.n
Grief is not something you can be well prepared for.
I had foolishly told a friend that it was better if a death was expected, it would help with grieving but now I know that grief cannot be well prepared for, especially when you truly loved.
It is love that causes the grief.
If you are not the one
Please show more kindness, someone is going through a lot. Your kindness heals them.
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]
Amp translation
So while you live
Let them know you love them.
Let them know they mean alot to you.
In everything God is good. God is in control. God is comfort.
Psalm 34: 18a The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking;
The living translation
By tommorrow Quiet Memoirs 3 will be released. Click on Books to get a list of the reviews.
Sending a lot of comfort, flowers, warmth and prayers to those grieving🌸🌺🌼🍂🍁🌷
Deeperlook 