Grieving – Deeperlook

PREAMBLE

Hello!

I was deeply inspired and I needed to share with you.

Let’s ride in…

YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST

person to cry

Or do many other things.

This is meant to be a season of joy and hope but some people are experiencing sadness and hopelessness.

some are heartbroken.

Today, I was reminded of the reality of mourning during celebrations and the heaviness that comes with it.

Grief cannot be measured neither can a time frame be given to it.

because we grief differently

I have talked about grief on this space a number of times and today, I won’t be as elaborate.

Grief is part of what we face in life, however it also shows us the beauty of the depth of our love and the ability of my heart to be soft.

So, if you are grieving a person, a relationship, a dream, and all the ‘what could have been’, I am here to remind you that your emotions are valid and relatable.

Just because many people are feeling joyful in this season shouldn’t mean you are not allowed to grieve.

YOU WON’T BE THE LAST

to feel this way

The birth of Jesus was in a season where other mothers grieved for the loss of their babies.

Therefore, joy and grief coexisted when He was born.

The manner in which we grief is dependent on how we have choosen to, or on the love our heart was able to share, or simply the way we have choosen to process pain.

I had a great day during church service, I was opportune to witness a 50 year old wedding anniversary filled with testimonies and also witness a 42 year old wedding anniversary filled with adventure. I drank wine, ate and sang deeply but I had got to experience the other side of joy.

I am still learning to grieve in a way that remains healthy for my overall well-being because there is healthy and unhealthy grief.

The difference is impact

2023, the year I worked better on grieving relationships.

Proud of the progress I have made internally ❣️.

I gave myself the opportunity to be regardless.

Grateful.
— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) December 19, 2023

So if you are grieving in this season, I have a small reminder for you:

I hope you are comforted.

TIME TO WRAP UP

If you do not have a reason to grieve, I am super elated for you. However, do not be oblivious to the sorrows of people around you

if there are any

Thank you for being here. If you enjoyed this, kindly share with someone else.

Leave a like, comment and subscribe (if you like).

Stay safe and God bless.

#W.O.L.A.P

Preamble

This topic follows personal events that happened recently.

I hope by writing, it would provide some comfort🌸

Stages of Grief

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

It does not always follow this sequence. It can be a mash-up sometimes.

A star

“I can’t believe she’s gone” I chanted to myself as I walked back home. It continually rang in my head as I sat in the classroom, and in the bus. I could not believe it. I am still struggling to accept it.

The day before, the world was mourning Kobe Bryant and I was losing someone precious. His death had shook me too, not a fan before but the thought that his death had taken him by surprise. The fact that he had died with his talented daughter. The fact that he was a good man, father and husband. The fact that other people had died unexpectedly. These kind of stories drench my heart in tears.

Why good people?

The premonition came, I was quite sad not knowing I had a reason to cry.

I saw the news, she had passed away.

She made my childhood so memorable. I called her my second mum. I had been planning that when I visited her state, I was going to stay with her.

The pain came gradually. I could not believe it but I cried. I cried out my eyes then I felt numb.

The next day, I was laughing at school with my friends. No-one had noticed that my face was sad, maybe I am good at concealing grief.

In the night and in the morning I felt weak but I stood up anyway. I felt God lifting me up to go out. I knew the reason why, when I did.

Everyone was super kind.

I just felt kindess. They had not known what had happened but they were kind, and that was some comfort.

Good memories flooded my heart. This pain had come quite close. This hurt was something I am going to feel for a while (I don’t know its lifespan)

The first time I felt it

I was quite young but her death hurt me for years.

Some people are too feeling, I am one of those.

The first time I watched A Walk to Remember, I cried my eyes out for days. That was the first time I realized that I was too feeling.

If you do not feel like I do, you will not understand.

Grandma

The warmest memory I cherish of her is her hug in the middle of the night while we shared the bed.

It happened so many years ago but I never forgot that feeling.

I am her doppleganger and have been called grandma by my family members. Strangers have called me grandma without knowing that they were just reflecting.

The pain was that I had wanted to see her but couldn’t. We had planned to see her but she left before we could complete our plan

It took a while, and my main comfort was that she had lived long.

She is the reason I am called Roseline🌹

Poetic days 5

I shared in the previous post that I had lost a classmate from secondary school. We were not close buddies but we never had a misunderstanding.

Thoughts crossed my mind about her several times. Thoughts of her in the past, her laughter, her behaviour, her face, her existence.

In the time frame of past, she was existing, she was fine. We were not worried we would lose her.

Now all that are left are memories. Memories that cannot be touched. Memories that can only be remembered, and nothing more.

Love hurts

You hurt the most when you love.

You grief more when you love.

Grief depends on how much you loved. It eats deep without your knowledge, you feel numb because you lost someone/something you thought you would always have.

C.S Lewis wrote a book using a pseudonym because he wanted no-one to know it was him. He had written the book as a tribute to his late wife. After her death, the sorrow that engulfed him was so overwhelming that he almost lost himself. The beauty was that he rested in God through his sorrows and that reflected in his expression of pain.

I have not read the book yet but I’ll share the title : A Grief Observed.

In one of my most favourite Korean series which I repeatedly watch and cry (cry), the male protagonist once asked the female protagonist “What kind of love do you want?”

She replied “Sad love” (sippun sarang)

In another secene he said “Happiness does not last for ever. Sadness does not last forever”

His statement was actually the basis of her response.

The remaining movie is heart drenching. Thinking about it makes me teary

I recently watched Frozen 2 and it was all bits of emotional. I love the Part 1 to pieces and this second part did justice.

Olaf as usual with his touching quotes said as he was drifting away “Some things are permanent, love”

Anna when she had lost Olaf and Elsa sang “This grief has a gravity”

Every grief has a gravity.

Art differs, so does grief

People grief differently.

Some cannot cry until their heart turns into shreds.

Some cry and cry

Some create a mechanism to move o.n

Grief is not something you can be well prepared for.

I had foolishly told a friend that it was better if a death was expected, it would help with grieving but now I know that grief cannot be well prepared for, especially when you truly loved.

It is love that causes the grief.