Flaw – Deeperlook

Preamble

Today is exactly the 6th month since my birthday.

I meant that 6 months ago, I gained a year to my age.

Today has been a roller coaster…

Regardless of that, let’s dive in as usual…

Weakness

Weakness is the description of a flaw.

An area of your personality that is not strong.

That has a lot of holes. A single punch and the leak is exposed…..

One of my weakness which I have repeated multiple times on blog is my swinging mood.

It is like pendulum and sometimes it swings too fast. My innate ability to observe small details and focus on them can sometimes be a blessing and other times a trouble.

Interestingly small gestures and actions mean more to me

Small things give me an insight into big things.

And because of this beautiful swinging moments I accept that I sometimes make people uncomfortable when the swing is towards a poor mood.

Not intentional

I wish that most of the times, they would understand that it was not necessarily them but I was trying to process certain influx and moments within.

Because of these moments, I have had times when people asked me what was wrong with me, why was I angry, why was I extremely quiet, why was I not smiling (add all the question marks yourself)

I would confess that some of those times, I wanted to be alone but I couldn’t help it because I needed to be out

In summary, whenever I am moody, I prefer to be alone before contacting others lest I also ruin their mood.

However, it is the real life where I have to cope with mood swings and doing things.

But my mood swings have not been totally negative. They have been a source of arts and creativity. I have created so many things in moments I was moody.

Many of them have been shared in this blog. Many…

Also, God has been kind to me by using random people to encourage me and also by touching the hearts of those around me.

As I learn to interact more and express myself (this area of my life), others have been considerate of me and I appreciate.

They do so by leaving me alone and not pushing me away when I come back to engage with them.

More like ignoring me when I needed the space.

One question I asked myself today was:

Why was I not getting over it?

Why was I too observant of details that others could ignore?

Why did they bother me?

Why was my cheerful and ‘sweet’ side not always evident?

And then I realized that getting over certain flaws take time and sometimes some of those may never disappear, they remain as a reminder of how imperfect the human nature is and hence when I am tempted to feel better than another person, my flaw is a check on me.

Do we need flaws to treat others better?

No.

But because it is a reality, it is better to accept the presence of flaws first than to deny them.

Also, there are certain flaws God may not take away.

I still pray about my swings. Every day.

This reminds me of Paul’s words in

2 Corinthians 12:6-8. If I wanted to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be telling the truth. But I will not boast, because I do not want any of you to have a higher opinion of me than you have as a result of what you have seen me do and heard me say.
But to keep me from being puffed up with pride because of the many wonderful things I saw, I was given a painful physical ailment, which acts as Satan's messenger to beat me and keep me from being proud.Three times I prayed to the Lord about this and asked Him to take it away (GNT)

Then it is followed by

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.(KJV)

Are all flaws permissble?

The honest truth is that there are certain flaws that are not permissble. They go completely against what the word of God stands for. Participating in such activities intentionally is the same as intentional disobedience.

No defence

Asking God for forgiveness is the main step to take but continous participation is an outright disregard towards God.

Especially when a willful participation occurs and repentance occurs only when there is a public exposure

A simple summary is that certain flaws are loop holes to remain in sin which is far away from God’s desire for us.

Deciding to keep choosing sin is to disregard God.

Now to you?

What is a flaw to you?

……………

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

PREAMBLE⛲

Part 2 of the Question Mark Series.

Faulty lines💩

There are two types of lines. A straight line and a dotted line.

The dotted line is faulty, it does not have a complete cover, a lot of missing components. Most of us are like the dotted lines, some of us have dots that are larger and uncoordinated. Some us have them in the same place, some us have it anywhere or everywhere.

Some of us are worried out by our fault lines, some are nonchalant, and some get bothered only when another person makes a deal out of them.

Most of us are faulty

I experienced a lot of situations that always put me in the fault state to the point I decided to always take the blame first before checking if the fault lines belonged to me or not. It was a way of taking responsibility, of being introspective and becoming more matured. It was my way of becoming a responsible being.

Too far?

I take it too far most times. Most times, even when I am right I find faults in myself first or afterwards. When I say afterwards, I mean after I may have defended myself. I may retrospect and fault myself again.

Too far?

I love balance but sometimes, I tilt it; not on purpose. I preach balance but sometimes, I don’t practice it.

WHY FAULT LINES?🎈

Because humans are flawed

I sometimes say I am an alien. It is sometimes a joke and sometimes not. In the bid to keep my balance, I have sometimes been unkind to myself and harsh to myself. Do I love me? Yes! A lot but sometimes the kind of love we show may not always be the proper expression.

The intention may be right but the expression isn’t
O.R.A

INTROSPECTION?👓

Maybe

It may be a form of introspection

Healthy?

Not always. It can become unhealthy

How much of fault lines are needed?—-…..—–

You see….the thing is…… You dont need them ……. You need…Well…the thing is still balance

Balance again?🙄

Balance is healthy. It maintains perspective in an healthy pattern. Without balance there would be mess, and not every mess can be redeemed.

Admitting the presence of fault lines keeps our perception of oursleves in the right place. It is a reminder that we are human, and so are other humans.

It helps us to remain empathic towards others, and be careful how we take notice of their fault lines.

It helps us make better decisions because we are not clouded by our feelings alone. We see from both sides, so our decisions are not hasty.

Sometimes, we take it too far. It is not always your fault.

It can be your fault most times. It can never be none of your fault. You have fault lines, so you cannot be without one but you may not be at fault in every situation..😑😑

When you accept it is always your fault, you shrink the lines till they break more, until you accept that as your personality.

When you never accept your fault lines, your fault lines stretches till they curve, until you become clouded and less discerning of who you truely are: a human that has fault lines. The result? A conceited being🙃

Sometimes, it is my fault. Sometimes it isn’t. That is a lesson I got this year. Sometimes I don’t have to prove it, sometimes a little explanation is enough, sometimes I have to be detailed.

Sometimes, those words were said the right way. Sometimes I should have held back and asked a question. Sometimes, I am not wrong. Sometimes I am right.

Sometimes you could have done something better. Sometimes you have done nothing. Sometimes, all you needed was patience. Sometimes you acted too slow…….

When it is your fault and when it is not, be

HOW IT WORKS〽

Two wrongs don’t make a right

When you are faced with a conflict, do not throw your reasoning away. If you reason first become responding to the conflict, you will respond better.

When a situation arises, check if you missed steps. If you did, it is okay to feel that feeling of…….that you should have done better. Scolding yourself if you need that to be serious is okay.

Dwelling on all the things you did not do right will not solve the wrong. Actions to do better is better.

When you experience those crazy faulty moments, please have a good laugh. You have fault lines, you can do better but fixating on it would not improve you.