Blogmas 2: Day 12

Preamble

Today is exactly the 6th month since my birthday.

I meant that 6 months ago, I gained a year to my age.

Today has been a roller coaster…

Regardless of that, let’s dive in as usual…

Weakness

Weakness is the description of a flaw.

An area of your personality that is not strong.

That has a lot of holes. A single punch and the leak is exposed…..

One of my weakness which I have repeated multiple times on blog is my swinging mood.

It is like pendulum and sometimes it swings too fast. My innate ability to observe small details and focus on them can sometimes be a blessing and other times a trouble.

Interestingly small gestures and actions mean more to me

Small things give me an insight into big things.

And because of this beautiful swinging moments I accept that I sometimes make people uncomfortable when the swing is towards a poor mood.

Not intentional

I wish that most of the times, they would understand that it was not necessarily them but I was trying to process certain influx and moments within.

Because of these moments, I have had times when people asked me what was wrong with me, why was I angry, why was I extremely quiet, why was I not smiling (add all the question marks yourself)

I would confess that some of those times, I wanted to be alone but I couldn’t help it because I needed to be out

In summary, whenever I am moody, I prefer to be alone before contacting others lest I also ruin their mood.

However, it is the real life where I have to cope with mood swings and doing things.

But my mood swings have not been totally negative. They have been a source of arts and creativity. I have created so many things in moments I was moody.

Many of them have been shared in this blog. Many…

Also, God has been kind to me by using random people to encourage me and also by touching the hearts of those around me.

As I learn to interact more and express myself (this area of my life), others have been considerate of me and I appreciate.

They do so by leaving me alone and not pushing me away when I come back to engage with them.

More like ignoring me when I needed the space.

One question I asked myself today was:

Why was I not getting over it?

Why was I too observant of details that others could ignore?

Why did they bother me?

Why was my cheerful and ‘sweet’ side not always evident?

And then I realized that getting over certain flaws take time and sometimes some of those may never disappear, they remain as a reminder of how imperfect the human nature is and hence when I am tempted to feel better than another person, my flaw is a check on me.

Do we need flaws to treat others better?

No.

But because it is a reality, it is better to accept the presence of flaws first than to deny them.

Also, there are certain flaws God may not take away.

I still pray about my swings. Every day.

This reminds me of Paul’s words in

2 Corinthians 12:6-8. If I wanted to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be telling the truth. But I will not boast, because I do not want any of you to have a higher opinion of me than you have as a result of what you have seen me do and heard me say.
But to keep me from being puffed up with pride because of the many wonderful things I saw, I was given a painful physical ailment, which acts as Satan's messenger to beat me and keep me from being proud.Three times I prayed to the Lord about this and asked Him to take it away (GNT) 

Then it is followed by

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.(KJV) 

Are all flaws permissble?

The honest truth is that there are certain flaws that are not permissble. They go completely against what the word of God stands for. Participating in such activities intentionally is the same as intentional disobedience.

No defence

Asking God for forgiveness is the main step to take but continous participation is an outright disregard towards God.

Especially when a willful participation occurs and repentance occurs only when there is a public exposure

A simple summary is that certain flaws are loop holes to remain in sin which is far away from God’s desire for us.

Deciding to keep choosing sin is to disregard God.

Now to you?

What is a flaw to you?

……………

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 10

Preamble

Today was mixed with different emotions.

The network was a bit unsteady and took out of the intended time for today’s topic.

Let’s dive…

It is well

We were talking about her medical condition and she was telling me a lot. It reminded what a teacher said before: “Your patients knows about their condition more than you”

I said the above because even though I knew about the condition she was talking about, she had better knowledge because she was living with it and I gained knowledge asking her questions.

We talked and from our mini conversation, I learnt a lot and I was again made to appreciate very important details of life that is easily wrapped up as a normal routine.

Her medications, and the concerns she had, made me mutter “It is well'”

I have used this phrase so much this year and I have used it because I did not know what else to say because the thing I wanted to say was not enough for the situation.

Speechless

Gradually, it has turned to a word I have used to replace complaining.

There are many things happening and sometimes if I were to take all of these events into consideration, I would suck myself dry.

Instead of doing that, I decided to opt out for a peaceful option of reminder.

Using this phrase is a reminder for me that God is in control.

It is well because God is still in control.

I do not believe in using another person’s misfortune to count our blessings. I believe that we should be grateful regardless of another person’s story, sad or happy.

2020 has been a year that caused me to declare this phrase and yes “It is well”.

The heart hears what the lips say and sometimes even when it is hard to believe in the comfort of God’s word, declaring it reminds the mind that you trust in the LORD.

Why is it well?

Because God is still in control

And also because it is bettter to hope than to be hopeless.

All of us are facing personal battles and sometimes, they threaten too hard, however unless we believe in God’s power to keep and strenghten us, we would get soaked up in the worry of the now.

It is well

Psalms 46:1-3  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. (KJV) 

This chapter is a reminder of God’s constant strenght regardless of anything happening. A reminder that God is not changed by our circumstances.

In the storm. In the calm. God is God.

And I will share this hymn, some parts of it:

IT IS WELL by Horatio G. Spafford

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
 When sorrows like sea billows roll;
 Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
 It is well, it is well with my soul.

 Refrain:
 It is well with my soul,
 It is well, it is well with my soul.

 Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
 Let this blest assurance control,
 That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
 And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Now to you

What does the phrase “IT IS WELL” mean to you?

What phrase have you used a lot this year?

Your thoughts are welcomed.

I will confess: I almost missed today because I was super sleepy and slept off while trying to write the post. I fortunately woke up before the time turned the next day. There were probably extra things I would have liked to write but for the purpose of meeting up with the time, I will stop here.

If you have more to share on today’s reflection, kindly share.

And if today’s topic blessed you, kindly share to someone else.

Stay well and blessed.

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 9

Preamble

Hello…..

😊😊

Today is the anniversary of Deeperlook on WordPress 🎊🎉….

Grateful for the moments and for everyone that has been part of this journey. You are so well appreciated.

Since this year started, I have practiced giving gifts from Deeperlook and sincerely I had planned to give one which was in the form of a free full fiction but due to certain circumstances, that would be transferred until next year.

However, what would you like as a gift from Deeperlook?

Tell me in the comment section🙈

You never know 😊😊…

N. B Requests may be accepted or politely rejected and conditions are also attached.

Let’s dive in (as usual)

Change

Recently, I changed my toothpaste because it was unavailable and I ended up buying the brand that was available (I had been eyeing it for a while).

Weeks after, I was impressed by the outcome of the new toothpaste and bought it twice.

Change is not always bad

There is nothing wrong with change especially when there is a need for change.

However, we need to understand seasons and reasons.

Why do you need change?

What is the reason for the change?

If there is no need for change why change?

There is a reason for change and unless you understand that reason, you will either change carelessly or refute change.

To bring in the new, there has to be change

For the new to get ushered in, the old has to give way. That is change.

The new has a purpose

What changes has God been doing in your life?

Personally, this year God has been changing my mindset on many things, especially things I had held unto so firmly that had withheld me from moving further.

As God peeled my layers and exposed my vulnerability to me, I knew that I needed to accept changes He was introducing to me.

If I refused to accept the process and changes that meant I was not ready to experience the new God was bringing into my life.

As you walk with God, you will change

A relationship with God is one that exposes you. It is not a hide and seek relationship, it is a raw one.

You get to see yourself for you

And unless you don’t want to experience the new, then you can remain unchanged.

Unchanged

The following verses amplifies God’s intentions for us (and me)

Isaiah 42:9  Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them. (KJV) 

And

Isaiah 43:18-19  Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.
 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. (KJV) 

To recieve God’s new, we need to let go of our old.

We need to embrace what He is doing at this moment in our lives. We need to experience it as we go through it.

Embrace the new

The only way to know the new things God is doing is to remain intentionally in God’s will and to sincerely pursue our relationship with Him.

In the first place, God pursues us. We pursue Him afterwards in response to His pursuit. Our response to God’s love is our love towards God.

Now to you

What is change to you?

Do you love new things?

What has God revealed about yourself to you?

Has anything changed in your life this year?

Your comments are welcomed.

Stay well and blessed 💝

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 8

Preamble

Welcome to day 8

Equality

Its not fair. I came first

I was standing in front of the section of the school cafeteria where freshly baked pies were sold when she joined me.

We greeted each other cordially because we knew each other.

The pies were brought out and before they were served she quickly picked the larger portion.

Let me confess: I had wanted to do that but withheld myself. I just did not feel it was right to do that.

Let the server give it appropriately

As I walked to the waiting bus which was going to take me and my remaining classmates to the hospital four our session, I wondered if my action to wait was pious or I was simply too slow.

Why were you slow? You also wanted the larger portion.

As I ate and pondered on my thoughts and the minute observation I had made, I wondered why sometimes I felt cheated when I actually did the right thing.

Maybe she was very hungry and she needed it more than I did. As long as you still got something to eat, then that is great.

One part of my reflection was:

Why did I feel bothered about what had happened?

Wasn’t it appropriate to let the other person pick before you?

Now, this is my pick: I am uncomfortable with people who are quick to pick better options for themselves while others have to deal with probably the crumbs. I interprete this attitude as only caring for oneself while not caring about others.

I feel uncomfortable with people who step on others to achieve goals or would do anything to be on the top.

Am I being realistic?

This question popped in my head as I reflected.

Does the world care?

To a major extent the world runs on the survival of the fittest. If you aren’t strong enough, you will lose and no-one would care.

You for yourself

I took her medical history and super enjoyed the communication. She was quite friendly and helped me as I mumbled with the arabic I knew. I and my partner had to wait for the Doctor in charge of us to be present to continue further.

He arrived and we began reviewing the cases together, the patients coming in and out.

Soon she entered and I volunteered to examine her.

He looked past me and chose someone else.

He had done that more than thrice

I was unhappy.

Why? I took her history and we had a good rapport

At some point, I felt he was being too picky with those he was choosing to examine the patients and told him it would be nice to make the participation more inclusive.

I reflected on this incidence and equality came to my mind. Everyone in the room was eager to participate but it depended on being chosen, however, some individuals were also willing to continuously participate even if that meant others did not get a chance.

I had fought that attitude in the past and I continue to.

Let everyone have an opportunity. If they refuse to participate then that is their choice.

I try to be inclusive whenever I have the chance to participate in a group activity. I believe in giving everyone a chance to contribute because that is what makes a group work a group work.

If it is a group work, then it is a group work not a one person work.

And from previous observations, I have noticed that when people are given the opportunity to participate actively, the activity done is more productive and enjoyed.

But that is not always the case

A concept, I still find hard to tolerate. The truth is that creating an environment where everyone has an appropriate equal opportunity is not realistic.

Why?

Because that is life. Life is not equal.

Some people were born into rich homes others were born into poor homes and others into the middle class homes.

Some people have better opportunities because of their family background and others have to struggle harder to get a meaningful pass at life.

Some people are smarter than others and that gives them an edge educationally.

Many factors we had no hand in constructing

Our fingers aren’t equal.

Neither are our toes.

My desire to be as just as possible in my dealings mainly depend on me and any opportunity I have to do so.

This means that expecting it from almost everyone I meet will only frustrate me

Frustrate me, because that is what I have experienced over again especially in cases I did not yield power. In cases where my voice carried meaning, I spoke and insisted but then there is always a limit.

Ambition if not guarded is extremely flammable. It can burn a man and consume him.

The truth is that most humans want to make meaning from their lives.

Most of us want to make tangible achievements depending on what achievement means to us.

I am no different

But our approaches are different and sometimes if you want to do it right, you may need to take longer time.

If you aren’t interested in waiting then shortcuts will be an easier option even it comes at the cost of another person.

A simple example:

How often have you experienced inequality at a queue? You’ve being waiting in line for a service and suddenly an individual strides in delicately and is handled differently mainly because of other factors you do not possess.

How often have you felt bitter and then jealous you were not in that position?

How often have you done the same thing when you had the opportunity presented to you?

How often have you make declaration of doing anything to get what you want?

Philippians 2:3  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (KJV) 

I confess: even though I do have the deep sense to treat people appropriately, I have also had times when I felt foolish doing so especially when my efforts were not seemingly appreciated or I got the end of the pot.

Sometimes it feels like why don’t you grab it for yourself too?

Why are you concerned about being concerned about treating others equally?

And sometimes, I have felt a sense of regret.

Or a sense of feeling cheated like the above incidence I metioned.

But when I meditate on the word of God, I am encouraged to know that I am not out of point.

Treating other people well is not foolish neither is it wrong.

Giving other people opportunities to develop is not foolish neither will it be the reason I do not progress.

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
 And what does the Lord require of you
 Except to be just, and to love [and to diligently practice] kindness (compassion),
 And to walk humbly with your God [setting aside any overblown sense of importance or self-righteousness]? (AMP) 

God requires us to treat others well.

God desires that we are concerned about the welfare of others.

God loves it when we are considerate of others.

1Corinthians 10:24 Let no one seek [only] his own good, but [also] that of the other person. (AMP) 

We all like good things of life.

Including me

However, motives and driving factors differ.

How we end up getting the good thing of life matters to God

THE GOLDEN RULE summarized 
Good for me, good for thee: Good for me (not harmful, detrimental to my life, helpful to my life, will improve my growth, will help me move further in life) can also be good for you and I should not stop you from having you or stop it from reaching you. 

Now to you

Do you share my concept?

Do you have a better way of writing what I wrote?

What am I missing?

What are your thoughts?

They are warmly welcomed.

Thank you for being here, I truly appreciate.

Thank you for sharing in my thoughts.

See you tommorrow by God’s grace until then stay well and blessed.

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 7

Preamble

Welcome to Day 7

If you have been following this series then you deserve a warm hug.

If you haven’t, you still deserve a warm hug because it is cold 😊.

Let’s dive in….

Rest

And it was the seventh day and God rested..

That was from Genesis 2:3

Rest is essential to life.

It is important to rest.

Rest is a blessing.

2020 taught me to appreciate rest and to be intentional with rest.

I subtly prided in having little sleep.

That meant I was working hard…

But I have come to learn that treating my body that way was only going to hurt me in the long run.

Me hurting myself

So I decided to rest and rest well when needed. Ignoring sleep or sleeping too small was not healthy.

Doing this also involved that I was going to stop a habit I was used to for years and I can say that I have been trying.

2020 was like a sabbatical year. We were locked up in our homes and had to rest by force except for medics and paramedics.

God bless you all

We had enough time to eat, sleep, exercise and do indoor activities.

As one who loves being indoors, I enjoyed it to the full but I still had to struggle with sleeping well.

Can you imagine?

I had enough time to do many things I couldn’t do pre-quarantine, so I wanted to maximise the time well.

However, at some point I had to remind myself that only the living enjoys hardwork.

Why kill yourself due to stress and not enjoy your hardwork?

Resting is not laziness. It is taking time out of your busy schedule to give your body ample time to be free from tension.

This passage clearly explains what I am trying to say:

Psalms 127:2  It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so He giveth His beloved sleep.

It is simply saying that at the end of the day, it is still God’s blessings that prospers our hardwork and good rest is from God.

As you work, take rest.

God wants us to rest in Him.

God desires that we find our satisfaction from Him because He is the only one who can fill up our empty spaces.

Nothing and no-one can

Matthew 11:28-30  Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (KJV) 

Rest is relief.

Isaiah 55:1-2  Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.
 Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. (KJV) 

As you rest, rest in God.

God is constant

Now to you

How are you resting?

What is your best form of rest?

Are you often stressed?

How was your quarantine spent?

Are you resting in God?

Want to add something to this blog, like your comments, questions or responses?

Write away… 😁

Thank you being here…

Stay well and blessed 🤗

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 6

Preamble

Good day (anytime you are reading this).

First, I think that the funny sounds my stomach is making means hunger.

I need to eat!

I already ate some bananas, yesterday’s left over homemade baked bread, and some unnecessary things.

Summary, my body wants me to cook!

How are you?

Have you eaten?

Hungry like me?

What was the highlight of your day?

Did you enjoy today?

How was the sunshine on your face today?

Let’s dive in…

A-motivation

Recently

I have been trying to keep afloat.

What I mean is: I am not always motivated.

Sometimes, I am like beh

Sometimes, I do not feel as motivated as I want.

Sometimes, I am tired.

Like I want to give up

The world keeps going downhill with it’s further deviation from good, life and God.

A new thing?

It is new because I am living in this moment.

Not new

I know it is not a new pattern but because I did not live in the old, I am observing events more closely as I grow older.

I won’t lie, sometimes events almost suck out every once of motivation you have for life.

Like what is the use of all the struggle when we live in a world like ours?

Morning wake. Night sleep.

Repeat the cycle

What is the use of fighting hard if your efforts will not yield meaningful results.

As I reflect on situations that have happened and how there is a regress in progress and how progress that was made is now becoming a regression.

We are supposed to move forward! Why are we recycling the same old issues and creating more tension with them?

The answer?

Human personalities do not necessarily change, just the faces. The same old problem with man’s heart is still the same problem of man’s heart.

So at some points, I ask myself what is the use of all the hardwork?

When the future we long for is not as bright as it seems

I know I am not the only one asking these questions.

After gaining one step, the next question is: What next?

Sometimes, you plan ahead but that does not mean your plan will follow through.

Take 2020 for example. I know you understand. I understand too. Like I do.

So you see, sometimes I am low on energy and because caffeine does not do any of the acrobatics that it does for others for me, I need to find a source to boost myself up.

And if I don’t find it then I may not use my day as well as I should.

Sometimes, I am just stressed and need sleep and good food.

Sleep is good.

Confidence

Let me confess:

When I wear a dress I feel elegant in and I am on my earpiece listening to a favourite song or podcast or message, and I am walking confidently, I feel so confident.

That was a bit off

Summary: There are times I feel extra confident because I ticked off some boxes that encourage my external sense of confidence.

As I reflected on today’s topic, certain passages came to mind, most of which I reflect on very regularly because I need them.

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.(KJV)

This verse reminds me that despite my position, I can do all I need to do. It simply tells me to derive my motivation from Christ, not myself nor my environment but from strength which Christ provides everyday. If my reflection is from the right source, I will experience strenght.

Romans 9:16  So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy. (KJV) 

This verse reminds me that hardwork is not always enough. I need God’s mercies.

We need God’s mercies despite our hardwork or personal motivation

Psalms 37:5  Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass. (KJV) 

This verse encourages me to plan with God. I need God in the mapping of my life.

Put God in the equation

As I take my steps in my daily plans, God has to be involved.

Philippians 1:6  Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:(KJV) 

This verse encourages me that God wil complete His work in my life and it is not dependent on situation or environment.

It is simply dependent on God who is constant regardless of time and seasons.

This is my confidence

So even though the thoughts tug at my mind and questions arise and sometimes my energy fail me, I am grateful for the source of God’s strength that is constant.

Amen

Psalms 73:24-26  Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.
 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. (KJV) 

AMEN

---

The book of Psalms is filled (like filled) with so many words of encouragements.

It a rich book in the Bible

I am tempted to share many passages but I’ll let you check out the book of Psalms (If you haven’t)

It is a book that is raw in its expression of sadness, pain, frustration, fear, depression and worries but it always ends with an acknowledgement of God’s sovereignty and love. A kind reminder that God is constant.

Now to you

Do you always feel motivated?

What gets you motivated?

Do you sometimes feel your future is bleak?

Do you have plans for your life?

Is God a constant or variable in the equation of your life?

What is the colour of the Sun?

You comments are welcomed.

Thank you for being here.

If it is your first time, kindly check Day 1 to understand the flow. You can easily do that by searching for Blogmas 2 and the list of post will come out.

Kindly subscribe to keep up, if you haven’t.

Share and like if you enjoyed this post.

See you tommorrow by God’s grace. Stay well and blessed.

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 5

Preamble

Today, I am tired…

And you?

Let’s dive in…

Ashamed

Do you understand the feeling of shame?

Have you felt ashamed about something before?

Do you still feel ashamed about something you’ve done?

Are there things you cannot do because they will only bring you shame?

To feel ashamed is to feel sorry and at the same time embarrased. It is not a positive emotion.

It is to feel unworthy

Shame prolonged is a healthy mind dissolved.

Awkward

To feel awkward is to feel out of place.

It is to feel uncomfortable.

It is to feel different in a negative way.

Awkwardness and discomfort have a relationship

There were several times I got uncomfortable because an individual caused me to feel that way or because I did something that caused me to feel that way.

Feeling awkward is observant when you are with people you are not comfortable with or you are still getting to know.

Because the level of relationship is still superficial, we are (I am) often carefuk to reveal too much or do too much (relative)

Personally, awkwardness is not a strange phenomenon but that does not mean I am used to it.

Sometimes, it presents as me suddenly cracking a joke or interacting easily with people I rarely interact with or laughing openly with people I don’t do that with and sometimes, I feel awkward because I may end up making a mistake.

You get?

Am I being overconscious?

Maybe

Sometimes, it presents as me being concerned if I habe a loose end on my dress or an open tear I did not notice or soemthing wrong with something on me

If not why are they staring at me?

You see, this is something I am learning to shed off. Negative thinking can sometimes take time to shed off.

You may ask: What is the big deal?

Well the big deal is the stream of thoughts that come after the events.

Did I over react?

Was it necessary to do that?

I should have kept quiet.

I should have done it this way instead.

How will I explain my actions now?

Will they understand?

Did I make them uncomfortable?

And sometimes balancing the outcome of the event is super awkward.

Okay… Let me not digress.

If you are one who is more concious of their behaviour and environment, you will care for how you handle the little events you are part of but like I am learning, there are things you may not be able to always balance like out.

Sometimes you (I) may just flop

Sometimes, the mistake will still happen

I am learning to let go and not allow the after thoughts soak me.

It has happened. Let it be in the past.

These Bible passages are also silent prayers I pray when I get overwhelmed by some unhealthy thoughts.

Psalms 25:20-21  O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.
 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. (KJV) 

Thoughts of shame come with accusations and they are not from God. As a child of God, shame is not part of God’s promise, plan or purpose for you (me)

Psalms 31:1  In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. (K. J. V) 

Sometimes, the reason we still feel ashamed is because we are reluctant to let go of the source of our shame.

Sometimes, the reason we still feel ashamed is because we have not dealt with the source of our shame.

Sometimes, the reason we are ashamed is because we are too scarred to let go of the source of our shame.

If the source of your shame is induced or forced on you, your healing is dependent on your pace and choice to let go and heal.

It may take time but one day, you’ll heal.

God wants you healed.

God wants me healed

God heals.

Now to you

Have you overcomed your source of shame?

Do you easily feel awkward or blending in is not difficult and you do not mind if you make blunders?

Do you find yourself over thinking situations after they have happened?

What is your encouragement to those experiencing shame?

Your comments are welcomed…

See you tommorrow by God’s grace. Thank you for being here 🤗

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 4

Preamble

Day 4 of the 12th of 2020

You are welcome even if you are reading this on another day that is not the 4th of the 12th of 2020.

My day was mild and sweet and yours?

How are you?

How is the weather where you are?

Have you eaten?

Have you slept?

Do you feel content and loved?

Let’s glide into the topic

Habibi: Beloved

In Arabic, Habibi means beloved.

It is used to express love to an individual and depending on the pronoun, its pronounciation will differ.

Love is one of the most important ingredient in having and living a meaningful life.

It is one of the most sought after emotion.

Adulterated or not

It has been protrayed in movies, books, plays and will continue to be protrayed because it has the ability to draw warm emotions.

Why do we need to feel loved?

Why do we seek to be loved?

Wether romantic or not, love regardless of its context has the power to make the participants high on beautiful motions.

Why do we need to experience love?

Single people long for a relationship where they can share mutual emotions and feel adored for who they are.

Love, in experience is the ingredient that gives us the power to move beyond our flaws and experience moments where we feel special.

Sometimes, when the feeling of emotional (let me straightforward and call it romantic) love is not felt for a long time, the individual develops a thick skin to emotions which would in turn affect how situations are percieved.

Love turns our senses on. We notice things we didn’t. We forgive things we noticed. We pursue things that matter to that relationship.

I have heard in many videos that love is not a specific word because it can be used to descibe living and non-living things. However, regardless of this, whenever love is placed in a sentence, it signifies a special bond.

Love makes you feel special

Be loved

How do you respond to love?

This word is a heavy one for me because it carries a huge representation of my perception and affection.

I do not take it lightly when it is used carelessly.

Mean it

As I have grown older and have experienced a culture where it is used frequently, my perception is getting balanced.

What I mean is: I am not probing it as I used to

During these years, people have looked me in the eye and told me they loved me and in sincerity, I was taken by surprise.

You love me? Why? I thought I am too harsh and sulky

I won’t lie, those words were very softening and often caused me to lean more to the individual but….

I have also felt disappointed

Because, love means different things to everyone. The depth of our defintion of love differs.

And so did mine differ from these people.

N. B If you do not understand my narration above, that is because you do not follow this blog. These posts below will give a hint on my reasons for making my statements above:

• Nice Christian
• Moody Doody

There are recent posts but tons of others are related to it and will make more sense when you read them.

I was walking into the sitting room when she stopped me in my tracks and said “Rose, I love you”

I was like 😯😯

She continued “I love your expression and how you react like now, the way you are reacting. I love the way you do your things”

Super shy and not expecting that comment, I replied “Thank you. I appreciate”. I seriously felt embarrassed especially as her friend was there shaking her head in affirmation.

Unable to contain how shy I felt, I scurried to my room. Behind closed doors, I was like “Where is that coming from?”

Months ago, this individual would barely look at me or respond when I greeted her so I felt she was not interested in answering me so I did not let it bother me. I greeted when I wanted to and ignored when I wanted to. A month after, we interacted for the first time and she needed a mild help from me. After that we greeted each other warmly anytime I was outside my room.

In response to my awkward response, she said “I have always wanted to tell you”

Is she the first to tell me this? No, but to an extent, I inwardly blocked such words because I felt that most times they were not used sincerely.

Why use such powerful words when you don’t mean it?

This incidence showed me something about myself as I reflected on other incidences in my life.

I had unconsciously made myself feel awkward at responding to kind gestures or kind words.

I loved and appreciated them but I often felt that it was said too much and maybe they were said because the person did not not know me enough.

Maybe when you know me you may not love me as such

Negative thinking right?

My reason for thinking this was because most of the people who had approached me in the past had quietly faded away and sometimes I felt it was because I did not do enough or because they discovered I was deeper than what they thought or maybe because they lost interest.

The truth: I have had to grow and during those times, I needed to grow

Does it mean I respond in this way to everyone? No. There were people I warmly and confidently reciporcated their gestures because I expected it.

Regardless, kind words are super sweet. I don’t know how to develop tough skin against it

Why the elaborate narration?

At the end of the day, we chose our response to offered love.

It is one thing to desire to be loved
It is another to allow yourself to be loved
At the end of the day, we sometimes choose who we want to love us✌ O.R.A

— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) January 11, 2020

I have written muliple tweets on this topic and you can check my profile from the above tweet.

Loved

As I walked to church, I mediated on today’s portion and as usual God surpised me by sharing it in church.

The brother who shared, talked about The Power of the Love of God.

John 3:16-17 was his main verse

John 3:16-17  For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
 For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved. (KJV) 

The words shared struck me as the preacher reminded us of God’s love for us. His kindness, patience, tenderness expressed in our lives even in moments we intentionally turn away from God.

We choose to accept God’s love

Accepting and basking in God’s love has been a gradual process for me and I won’t lie, it has been an interesting journey. The process of discovering and appreciating my worth in God’s eyes is invaluable and I am grateful for the moments I get to experience through out this journey.

And as I bask in God’s love, I also learn to see others the He sees them and that helps my heart to be more tender.

Tender sweet

Since I know that they are loved by the same God who loves me then I should love them too and this love must be sincere.

If you cannot love them close, love them though prayers

One who is loved much should love as well.

Now to you

Do you feel loved?

Are you in love?

Do you easily love?

Do you know of God’s love?

Are you basking in it?

It is one thing to know that God loves you.
It is another to accept it.
And another thing to bask and flourish in it.
…..#thoughts

— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) October 5, 2020

How has your experience with loving others been?

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Ealier this year, I shared a collection of poetry titled Quiet Memoirs. Volume 3 and 4 are related to this post.

Reviews for them can be read by clicking on the highligted texts: Volume 3 and Volume 4

Your warm thoughts and comments are welcomed.

If you are new, welcome here and subscribe if you haven’t.

Stay well and blessed ❤

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas 2: Day 3

Preamble

Welcome to day 3.

How was your day?

How did you fare?

Hope you are well?

I am well and my day was mild.

Let’s dive into today’s reflections ⛲

Discomfort

Discomfort is an uncomfortable feeling. It is feeling out of place.

It can be associated with pain, ache or tiredness.

Discomfort is never a pleasant feeling, it is the opposite.

I have experienced discomfort multiple times and to an extent, quite frequently. This may be partly due to my hypersensitive nature in regards to my environment and my ability to process things deeply (I came to understand this in 2020).

There were times, I could not contain the discomforts and had to check myself in the hospital only to be told I am normal and only had to increase certain nutrients, drink more water or regulate my eating habits.

At the end of the day, it mostly boiled down to taking care of my mind and response to situations happening in my life and environment.

However, last year, I experienced a discomfort that turned out to be more valid than other times. I had simple caries in my teeth and I had to get fillings in them.

Despite being reassured that it was not my eating habit that caused it but other causes that were not completely my fault, I felt very unhappy.

I felt betrayed

But in the spirit of keeping a healthy lifestyle, I continued to maintain a healthy lifestyle with my oral hygiene.

Unfortunately, in the last months of 2019, I had moments where I was unable to maintain the pattern and had a recurrence in another teeth.

So that meant getting another fiiling.

That meant another wave of discomfort

After a while of dealing with the negative emotions and being reassured that the caries were very simple and superficial, I got another filling.

Now, my issue is the discomfort I experience. From getting pains due to the local anathesia being injected to enduring pain due to the sensitivity of my nerve endings to the procedures, I am experiencing discomfort as I get healed.

Discomfort comes before healing

#Healing pic.twitter.com/ITAhsPQUIx

— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) November 29, 2020

A simple example of discomfort is when you wear an ill-fitting pair of shoes or when you wear an outfit that is ill-fitting.

Discomfort is the absence of comfort. It is feeling poked. It is feeling anxious.

2020 has been a year that came with a lot of discomfort in the form of change of plans and unplanned events.

It has been a year where we had to deal with our discomforts and bring something worthwhile.

Nowhere to run 🏃

We were stuck in an environment and for those who enjoyed moving around, it was quite discomforting to remain in one environment for a long time.

Discomfort is not always bad.

Sometimes it is blessing.

Sometimes it means Growth.

Sometimes, it is a sign that growth is occuring and that we need to give attention to it.

#Healing pic.twitter.com/5rpW1MmITg

— O.R.A (@sweetrose_agwu) November 30, 2020

Growth

Growth is a sign of progress.

Growth in spite of discomfort is maturity.

2020 encouraged me to make use of unfavourable situations without persistenly whining about the situation.

I am grateful that I learnt many important life lessons in 2020.

I am grateful for growth.

I am grateful that I used the discomforts of 2020 well.

I also learnt that God is intentional about our discomforts.

God is always interested in our growth.

God will use our discomforts only if we let Him.

How?

2 Corinthians 1:3-4  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

And

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.

It is one thing to know these verses. It is another to believe them and another to pratice them.

It is only in practice of them that their meaning becomes vivid and personal.

Now to you

How have you handled discomforts?

What has 2020 taught you about discomfort?

What has been your anchor?

Do you believe that your discomfort has a purpose?

Share in the comment section below and if you are enjoying this post, kindly share to others.

Until tommorrow….

Stay well and blessed ❤

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway

Blogmas Series 2: Day 1

Preamble

I promised to start on 1st December and I will keep to that word.

I am currently trying to beat the time 🤒

The day was busy and here I go, trying to keep up because I have to.

This is the second Blogmas series and I will be sharing lessons from my life within these days leading to Christmas.

It would be great to have you join this series 😊

Let’s dive in… 🏌

Frustration

Have you ever felt frustrated before?

Do you still remember the incident and it makes you shake your head?

Frustration is annoying because that is what it is about.

Some days ago, I stood before two shop owners and got engaged in a back and forth arguement about a certain product they had.

They had not told me that they did not test their electrical appliance and I had asked them to open the product and test it for me. But when they refused to test it, I refused to buy it.

This led us to engage in an unproductive conversation about getting my money back.

I tried my best to avoid raising my voice but at some point, I was so frustrated that I did. It had been a while I raised my voice angrily at anyone. The last time I had done it, I had been pushed to the edge by inconsiderate persons. Since leaving that environment, I had not had any reason to raise my voice in frustration.

After about 10 minutes had passed, I got my money back and I left the shop. Before I left, I tried to tone down my voice and even apologize😂😂

In my mind, I was like:

Why are you apologizing?

The truth is I want to be realistic with the word of God I am reading. I know that it goes beyond reading to acting it out.

That is where it matters, the actions.

On my way home, I reflected on the incidence and I was at peace at how I had handled the situation even though I would have rather avoided it if I had perceived it beforehand.

There are people who derive pleasure in frustrating others. They purposely create situations where others would be put on the edge until they explode. They are waiting to trigger confrontations.

However, it lies on our part to be ready to respond well..

And it does not happen by accident. We cannot respond appropriately by accident. We respond appropriately by being intentional with our responses.

2020 has been a year that stretched a lot of us emotionally but we also had the responsibility to respond to it appropriately.

If we always respond according to how frustrated we are, we will easily miss the lessons and possibly blessings attached to the incident.

Colossians 4:6  Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

This Bible verse is very helpful and reminds you and sometimes stings you when you go overboard.

God is kind and I am grateful that despite the times I felt frustrated this year, His gentle reminders in my heart was a great steady anchor.

I am grateful for that.

Now to you

How have you handled frustrations this year?

Any lessons learnt?

Would you mind sharing?

Share in the comment section below..

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See you on Day 2..

Still

#fromamedicalstudentfaraway